 Have you ever been asked about your body count?
Body count refers to the number of kills you've gotten in a video game or even a movie, but in recent years, the term is being used to describe how many people you have slept with. Overall, on Tik Tok the hashtag #bodycount has over 289 million views. So as much as knowing how many people you've banged shouldn't be a thing, it really is a thing that people really care now to know. But why are we so obsessed with how many people others have had sex with? Does having a low or high number really say something about who we are as a person? Or are we really just out here judging one another? At the most basic level, let's be honest, humans are curious about other humans. We're interested in their private lives and deepest (and sometimes darkest) secrets. But really, it doesn't matter how many people you've slept with; what matters is truly who you are as a person. But unfortunately, depending on your answer, there will always be judgment about how many people someone has slept with. You're either labeled dirty or a prude and there is no way to eliminate the judgment that comes with either. So you might as well have fun and enjoy what you can in life and don't let people's judgment about you get in the way of you having fun, as long as you're safe.
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 Some people have a clear sense of their sexuality and who they are, and labelling their sexual orientation (whether it be straight, gay, bi, queer, etc.) is not an issue.
But some might not want to choose to label their sexuality. Sexuality is complex, and it can change from person to person. What if you consider yourself straight, but you feel a special attraction to someone of the same sex/gender? Do you have to label yourself as bisexual now because of this same-sex attraction you never experienced before? Labels are mainly used as a way to categorise people quickly. Yet, for some reason, when it comes to queer people, society expects an explanation once they learn of someone's sexuality. An article from Shifting Her Experience mentions that : "A frequent problem we see time and time again with labels is having to constantly "explain ourselves." We've been asked about our sexual history...if we had boyfriends before, what age we knew we were gay, and ... if we ever had threesomes since we are bisexual...we don't have to explain ourselves because we are gay." Humans are constantly evolving and changing. You are not the same person you were five or ten years ago. The best part of the human experience is continuously discovering new things about ourselves. We can go our whole lives being "straight" or "gay", but does a new attraction deserve a new label for you? If we have a clear idea of our sexuality and how we want to be identified, we are free to share it with other people, but it shouldn't be required. As the letters of the 2SLGBTQIA+ become more inclusive by adding new definitions that span the broad spectrum of human sexuality, it's clear that some people cannot be labelled. The relationships between two consenting adults can be diverse and fluid, and sexuality can become more complex when it comes to gender identity. Non-binary writer Suzannah Weiss explained it best: "Most popular conceptions of sexual orientation seem to assume that everybody is attracted either to people who have penises and identify as men or people who have vaginas and identify as women. But trans and non-binary people call these assumptions into question: should sexual orientation be defined by your partners' identities or body parts? If your partner is non-binary, what orientation is that? As a non-binary person, it's impossible to say if I like the "same" or "opposite" gender. Would "straight" for me mean only sleeping with non-binary people? The whole concept becomes almost nonsensical after a certain point. It just doesn't make sense to squeeze myself into this limiting definition." You never know who you'll be attracted to. You might identify one way, but that can always change. Likewise, you don't know who the universe will put into your life or who your soulmate might be. Overall, you know who you are, and not everything deserves an explanation. Whether you choose to label yourself or not, it's nobody's business but your own.  Do you ever feel trapped?
Like you’re being suffocated and weighed down by an undeniable force? No matter what you do, the pressure is relentless in weighing you down and even doing the simplest task gives you a knotted heaviness in your stomach? If this sounds similar, you’re probably experiencing what many like to call “Being Trapped In Your Mind.” At some time in your life, you’ve probably faced this issue, and with this month being Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to focus on issues that surround people’s daily issues. Here are some tips that could help you if you’re feeling trapped in your head. 1. Write out all of your thoughts. It seems simple and maybe silly but writing out your thoughts, almost like keeping a diary, will help you sort through your thoughts, and once written down, you might find you’re no longer dwelling on them. 2. Find simple little tasks that help you focus on yourself. For me, I close my eyes and take deep breaths. This will allow you to focus on the inner feelings that you need to feel full. 3. If it’s a situation that is overwhelming you, subtract yourself from the problem. Maybe you got into a fight with your parents or the people around you are triggering you, the best resolution is to step away from the situation to get more of a clear mind. Say to them I’m going for a walk, and we can talk more later. At the end of the day, your mental health should always come first. 4. Getting outside and breathing in the fresh air is always helpful. Nature is simplistic and can add a calming element to our everyday lives. Connecting with nature and seeing everything going on around, you will make a massive shift in your mindset. Just stepping outside and seeing how beautiful the world is can change your perspective on everything you do. 6. Find a better outlet. Often, when people get overwhelmed, they turn to something to distract themselves, but it might not be a healthy way to deal with things. Try channeling all the energy you’re wasting on overthinking and stressing into something healthy like working out, cooking, writing or something that will essentially help you grow. 7. Always remind yourself of the good things in your life and how far you’ve come. Most people who have been struggling get so trapped in their current mindset that they cannot realize the amount of growth they have made within themselves in the last couple of years. Yes, the past can be a daunting thing to think about, but being in the present moment and focusing on the now rather than on the past or the future will be a massive game-changer in helping your mental health. It’s not easy to go from being trapped in your mind to being carefree and open to new possibilities. Still, the critical thing to remember is that you are in control of your mind and that relentless force that is weighing you down is something that you can eliminate now from your life once you start working on what’s important to you. If you or a friend is struggling with their mental health, please find the information below: https://windsoressex.cmha.ca/ https://mentalhealthconnections.ca/ https://wechc.org/  Mother’s Day is a day where people celebrate and reflect on all of the amazing memories and things that they have gotten from their mothers. Let’s be honest, one simple day isn’t enough, but you should take this one day to celebrate and love the significant parental figure in your life and all that they’ve done for you.
For me, I don’t think an article will ever be able to give justice to what my mother has taught me about life, love, music, and being a kind person. Even though there have been many times that I have challenged my mom on many things, she has always been right and has and always will be the rock of my family. I've learned a lot from her, but there are some main things that stick out when it comes to the lessons she has taught me.
2. Life is too short Just like others, I have seen my mom go through her fair share of pain and heartbreak. Seeing her go through it, it helped me realize that life is very short and can be taken away from us at any point. Besides worrying about the bills, the debt, and the everyday struggles we have, it’s important to live. 3. Who cares what anyone thinks of you My mother is a firm believer in being truly authentic to herself. It was always inspirational to me when I was a kid to see the way my mom talked to people. With such confidence and knowledge, she has always known the respect she deserved and has never held back from being honest with anyone about how she feels. That is something now in my adult years that I have developed, being real and authentic to how I feel about myself and the respect I know I deserve. 4. Music can change your whole day Music has always been a love of mine and I believe that has to do with both my parents but mainly my mother. Her taste in music is everywhere, from hip hop to R&B, to jazz, and the 80’s rock, she is all ears when it comes to a good beat. On every road trip we had as a family, we always listened to the best music and no matter what was happening for my mom that day, the music always seemed to distract her and put her in a good mood, and now, it does the same thing for my sister and I. 5. Surround yourself with people who value you This has been a hard one for me to get a handle on, and honestly, I still don’t have a handle on it. My mom always tells me the truth when it comes to the people around me. If she doesn’t like someone, I always know just from her body language and facial expressions. She’s right for one that I should surround myself with people that care about me as much as I do and stick my neck out for those who would do the same for me. There are so many more lessons I could write about, but if I was to do that, then this would be a full book. Be thankful each and every day for your mother, or for the woman in your life that feels like a mother to you, they are unique in your journey of life and all they want for you is to see you happy and growing.  The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. - Oprah
A few weeks ago, we looked at finding happiness at work by using the PERMA model - the theory of wellbeing - to provide practical ways to apply its components in your work life, which you can check out here. Today, we're going to look at how to be happy in your personal life. Believe it or not, 40% of happiness is genetic. So, our joy and attitudes can be attributed to our genes. But how can we control our happiness and seek contentment and satisfaction in our everyday life? This can be broken down into a few different aspects: 1. Pursue Personal, Self-Rewarding Goals One way to achieve happiness is rewarding yourself after completing goals or tasks. Give yourself a little treat after finishing the things you set out to do. This can be treating yourself after a long day of work, completing chores, and doing things you've been putting off. 2. Focus on community growth Explore your city and engage in your community by volunteering or supporting small businesses and local artists. Community engagement gives us a sense of togetherness and belonging, plus we become happier by helping others. 3. Driven by internal reward Allow yourself to be ambitious and work hard to get to where you want to go by challenging yourself to be the best you can be. Completing tasks and working to the best of your ability gives you the satisfaction of a job well done instead of needing someone else's validation. 4. Driven by the enjoyment of the activity Embrace activities you love and soak in new experiences. Always appreciate the feeling and feel connected to your environment. Life is a journey. Enjoy the moment and embrace the process. When you live your life wide open, you can allow yourself to be free to learn how to make yourself happy.  When it comes to expressing emotions, there are different expectations when it comes to men versus women. Most of the time, women are viewed as “sensitive” so it’s socially acceptable for a woman to express her sadness. But men, who are viewed as courageous and strong, are not encouraged to outwardly express their emotions.
These cultural norms and stereotypes have been circulating around for generations, and the lasting effects they have can be toxic, especially for men. Men who do show their emotions are usually viewed as weak, because of that, many men repress their emotions because they’re afraid of seeming weak and not manly. However, suppressing emotions can be so detrimental to anyone’s mental health. The Consequences of Emotional Avoidance: Part of what makes us human is our ability to feel our emotions and process our emotions. Without processing the way we feel, we allow ourselves to build up our emotions within us which can result in anger, trauma and other mental health disorders. Suppressing emotions can lead to anxiety and even depression, and with the stigma around men and their emotions, not allowing a man to be vulnerable and open about the way he feels can lead him down a dark path. Studies show that for men, being told to “man up” or “act like a man” is something that they learn and hear from a very young age and it remains with them into adulthood. Overtime, men get really good at avoiding their emotions, or coping with their emotions is a more acceptable way for males. It creates what most would describe as toxic masculinity, which can be hard to break once it becomes a habit. Learning To Be Vulnerable: Learning how to be vulnerable with your emotions is not something easy and usually very hard to do once you’ve been in a habit of suppressing how you feel all the time. However, there are ways around this that may seem out of someone's comfort zone, but the only way to grow is to be put in situations that make you uncomfortable to do what you need to do for yourself and your mental health.
2. Find therapeutic hobbies This is something not only men should be but everyone should try. Bringing new activities into your life that create excitement and joy is one way to feel like you’re connecting with yourself more. Cooking, exercise, art, and music are just some examples of things you can do for yourself to get mentally healthy, even going for a walk every day can help structure you into a healthier daily routine.  When it comes to a job, it's good to find something you enjoy or at least tolerate. There's nothing worse than commuting to a job you despise in the morning.
Whether you are overwhelmed by your workload, you don't have the support you need, your management, or you feel like you have nowhere else to go, there are many reasons why people might be unhappy in their careers. And the truth is, a lot of people are just not happy at work. According to Forbes, 81 percent of employees fake happiness. Many people act happy to create the illusion that nothing is wrong so they can be team players who can take on anything since they don't want to seem ungrateful. There will be good days when it comes to your job, and there will also be bad days when you'll want to give up. To be truly happy at work, or in any area in your life, try the PERMA model - the theory of wellbeing - to provide practical ways to apply its components in your private practice or personal life. PERMA stands for: Positive Emotions - this includes a work/life balance to give you time to do what you love, so you're not working too many hours. Engagement – engage with your work with tasks that keep you busy to make your day go by quicker. Positive Relationships – with your co-workers you work well with and feel the respect and support you need. Meaning – you feel valued, appreciated, and have a sense of worth from your company, manager and co-workers. Accomplishment – feelings of fulfillment in the work you're doing. Even if it's not your dream job, try to find something that makes you feel content. Feeling supported, appreciated, and engaged can come with rewards in your career.  This is something that has been occurring for so long, but I never had a definite answer until now.
The period flu isn’t a real medical term, but it sure does sum up how a lot of women feel right before getting their period. Flu-like symptoms like nausea, cramping, fever, and headaches are just some of the complaints that have some people wondering if they’re getting sick or just going crazy during that time of the month. But the good thing is, you’re not alone. The period flu is a thing but has nothing to do with the actual flu. So why does this happen? Experts aren’t totally sure about what causes this phenomenon, but hormone fluctuations throughout your menstrual cycle are the most likely culprit. Before getting your period, prostaglandins which are basically like your hormone’s fatty acids, are there to help your uterus shed its lining. With an excess number of prostaglandins as well as cyclic changes in your sex hormones, it can cause you to feel run down, exhausted, and even create chills throughout your body. What are the symptoms? Before or during your period, you can experience symptoms like…
Although this is something that not all women deal with, there are things you can do to help prevent this from happening or lessen the symptoms that come along with it. -Exercise regularly: Exercising has been shown to help improve a lot of discomforts that are associated with period cramps, depression, and lack of energy. -Eating healthy food: Eating healthier is always a great idea, but it’s a better idea when it’s two weeks before starting your cycle. Doing this can help reduce your PMS symptoms. Cutting down on alcohol, smoking, sugars, and caffeine intake will do wonders. Try applying those two tips and hopefully it will help lessen the nasty and uncomfortable feelings you get before and during your period.  Usually, we make a list of goals for ourselves to achieve or accomplish something to get ahead in our professional or personal lives. Then, you set specific and attainable goals to complete within a certain amount of time to motivate you into meeting them to reach your desired destination for where you want to be in the future. We also have a lot of fears and anxieties in life. And one way to get ahold of those fears and anxieties is to write them down. When people worry, they tend to imagine the worst thing that could happen. In reality, these worries may never come true. What could happen isn't the same as what will happen. Writing them down gives you the perspective you need to make your fears seem not as scary. The following exercise can let you regain control and power over your fears. Begin by getting a piece of paper and something to write with. On a page, make three different columns. In the first column, write and define your fears, anxieties, or worst-case scenarios. Defining fears gets the worst-case scenario on the page, and it's almost always not as bad as we make it out to be. In the second column , think of ways to prevent your fear from happening to take control of unwanted outcomes. And in the third column, write down what you should do if your fears come true. Again, being prepared can help reduce additional stress. Working through this list allows you to be true to yourself by physically putting your fears on paper, taking control, and thinking of solutions ahead of time. When you put things into perspective, your fears feel manageable and smaller than before. Try to write down your fears by creating the three columns shown in the image below, and allow yourself to think of creative solutions to take complete control of them.   Does being lazy mean you’re unhappy?
The short answer is no. It’s ok to be lazy sometimes. Many people believe that you have to be productive all the time. So if you're home with nothing to do or nothing planned, many are under the impression that you must keep doing things, so it doesn't feel like you wasted your day. While having a day off does give you opportunities to finally get things done that you couldn't do during your busy week, such as laundry and cleaning stuff around the house, you shouldn't feel pressured or feel the need to be productive at all times. Our bodies and minds need rest to recharge after a long week. After all, rest is essential to keep going. As Dr. Isabelle Moreau puts it best when she said: "Boredom and laziness should be used as a means to regain control over one's own body and one's own time." Taking one day to relax and recharge by doing nothing, either by sitting on the couch watching TV or engaging in something that relaxes you, can benefit your mental health by reducing stress. Also, having some time to do nothing can clear our minds and potentially give us clear answers to problems that we might have on our minds. Now, there are times when being lazy can be harmful. For example, lack of ambition, energy, or motivation to the point where nothing gets done can negatively impact specific aspects of your life and can become a more significant issue. But taking one or two lazy days out of the week can benefit you. Take a day to be lazy and make it a way to reward yourself after completing a busy week. Instead of procrastinating, get done what you've been putting off, and then reward yourself by doing nothing after or completing work or personal goals throughout the week, so there's no guilt in doing nothing later. So the next time you have a day with nothing planned, don't always feel the need to keep being productive. Don't feel guilty for having a lazy day with nothing to do, as it can help you recharge and clear your mind after a long week.  The role of the grandparent in a child's life is ever-changing. While playing many roles, from mentors to teachers, loving companions, historians to sometimes the best friend, the most beautiful thing about grandparents is that they love what they do and simply being with their grandchildren brings them joy every day.
While reading this, I'm sure you can think about all the amazing memories you have with your grandparents. The times they took you shopping during the summer months for back to school clothes, getting comfy on the couch together to watch your favourite Disney movie, giving you money for no reason, and the best part, tucking you in for bed at night and kissing you on the forehead. Grandparents are like chicken soup for the soul. Whenever you're feeling ill or sad, a grandparent knows just exactly what to do to help you. Not only do they instil in us so many life lessons, but they also teach us how to be kind and see the world in a completely different light. A grandparents' love is endless and what we take with us when they are no longer with us turns into something that truly impacts our lives, our future children's lives, and our future grandchildren's lives. If I'm speaking for myself, some of the life lessons I have learned from my own experience with my beautiful and kind-hearted grandmother are being kind to everyone, being patient, and showing endless love, but the list doesn't end there. Lesson 1: Cherish Every Moment This one just makes sense, but I think something that sticks out for me is how my grandmother made it her mission to always focus on the moment. No matter what we were doing, having dinner at the table, watching a movie together, counting down the seconds before the ball dropped on New Year's Eve, decorating the Christmas tree, or just sitting there and talking, she was always in the moment. Lesson 2: Be Kind To Everyone My grandma was all about being kind to everyone and anyone. Even if that person hurt her, she was kind regardless of the situation. She showed kindness everywhere she went and tried her best to make people feel comfortable in any situation. Lesson 3: Be Patient I will never forget having a conversation with my grandma when I got engaged to my now-husband years ago. After our engagement, we still hadn't gotten married for the years to follow, which made me feel like I was doing something wrong. When I talked to my grandma about it, she said one simple thing, "You will get married when it's time. Give it time." After that, it was instilled in me that something that is meant to happen will, and it did! Patience is all I needed to have. Lesson 4: Always Say I Love You Never forget to express your love to the people who matter the most, no matter the circumstances. While growing up, no matter how much I gave my grandma attitude or was ignorant to my surroundings, she would always say she loved me regardless of what was happening at that moment. Stuff like that made me realize how crucial it is to acknowledge that the people around you that may be going through pain or struggles still need to hear those three simple words. Those words can change someone's day and someone's perspective. Lesson 5: It's Never Too Warm For Socks I'm sure many people can relate to this one, but how many people's grandmothers or grandparents insisted on them wearing socks? Even if it was boiling hot out, it was a huge priority for my grandma to have socks on our feet. She always got upset with my sister and me, even my friends, to put on a pair of socks. It was so important to her that we were warm and comfortable. Lesson 6: Keep Giving For a big portion of my grandma's life, she gave back to the community and those who needed it the most. It was important to her to help those in need, and she dedicated herself to those around her. I learned quickly from her that even though my world may feel like it's falling apart, there is someone else going through it harder, worse, and dealing with more and always being thankful for what I have. Our grandparents greatly influence us, whether we are super close with them or only see them on special occasions. The bond between a child and their grandparents can never be broken.  Not everyone is perfect, and I think that is something we all realize about ourselves. We are nothing close to perfect. However, there are always aspects of ourselves that we improve on, whether that be in relationships, friendships, mental health, or even in your work environment.
Sometimes our own behavioural traits may inevitably conflict with our surroundings from time to time, especially if that behaviour turns into toxic characteristics. However, when it comes to toxic traits within us, it is hard to realize that sometimes our behaviour can be harmful to the people around us. Especially if these toxic traits are causing you problems in your everyday life, we often tend to blame the people around us for the reason things aren't working out the way we planned. Still, it always takes an emotionally mature person to look inwards and see where they play a part in the situation surrounding them. Ask Yourself: Are You Self Aware? Being self-aware means being open and honest with yourself and doing the much-needed work to improve your behavioural habits. Constantly checking in with yourself can help you realize that the problem isn't always the other person's fault. But what are some toxic traits that stand out within us or others that can cause these constant issues within our lives? Negativity: One of the biggest traits that stand out is negativity. So ask yourself this question, "Am I constantly approaching situations from a negative mindset?" If that sounds like something you do, many of us use this as a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from going out on a limb, avoiding change, or taking a risk. But unfortunately, having a negative mindset can affect every aspect of your life. It can take a complete toll on your mental health and others around you. We as humans tend to give a lot of our attention to the negative aspects of our life. The things we don't have, the things we want more of, but often we forget to pause for a minute to realize all that we have around us and all we have to be grateful for. Being Judgemental: Are you judging others for how they're living their lives? Do you judge others when they confide in you with personal information? Just remember, someone else's life is their life, and your life is yours. Focusing too much on someone else's life tells how you feel about yourself and your own situation. Choosing to focus on someone else's life showcases your insecurities within yourself. Learn to work through the problems you feel within yourself and focus on yourself. Taking No Responsibility: Not taking responsibility for your actions is a common trait and a sign of immaturity as well. Being emotionally mature and self-aware means that you are able and willing to admit when you're wrong. Unfortunately, this toxic trait goes hand in hand with not apologizing when you do something wrong, which leads to many relationship and friendship problems. It's essential to take responsibility in those vulnerable situations, and when you're able to do this, it will help others realize that you are willing to change and work on yourself. What To Do If You Have Toxic Traits? When it comes to changing your behavioural habits, you already acknowledge a part of yourself that you may have avoided changing. So when you start your journey of self-awareness, it's important to be honest with yourself, even if it means asking yourself those tricky questions about the past and reflecting. Everyone has parts of themselves they want to improve on. Remember that no one is perfect, no matter how much you think someone is. The first step to bettering yourself is recognizing the areas you need to improve on. It's all about working on your self-awareness and growing as an individual.  In 2021, Mark Zuckerberg announced his plan to focus on the "metaverse", connecting virtual reality with PC, mobile devices, and game consoles to connect to a larger virtual world. As a result, you can use any of these devices and still be connected to them.
Virtual reality is often associated with gaming, but the idea of the "metaverse" is much bigger. The idea is for someone to create a 3D avatar and use the "metaverse" as a new virtual way to connect beyond gaming, which includes interacting with other 3D avatars for business meetings, hanging out, or even attending virtual events, like concerts using VR technology. This is seen as the next step in the internet evolution and represents a shift in how we interact with technology and each other. The "metaverse" is meant to be a way to heighten our connections beyond a simple Zoom call. Now we can put on our headsets and meet people in virtual rooms where it looks like other avatars are right there with us in this 3D virtual world. With this new technology whose main goal is to connect us even more than ever before, is it really bringing us closer together? It heightens your experience for gaming, yes, but when it comes to other modes of "meeting with friends", is talking to a 3D avatar better than looking at someone's actual face over Zoom or in-person? Human interaction in the physical world offers many mental health benefits that include boosting your mood and creates a sense of security. When we were isolated during the pandemic, we weren't yearning for less human interaction; we wanted more in-person visits with friends and family. Of course, the "metaverse" can provide experiences you don't have access to, like riding a roller coaster or going on a nature walk without leaving the comfort of your own home, but using it as a substitute is not what we should be investing in. The "metaverse" and VR does have their perks, but being isolated by yourself, even when you're supposed to be social, can come with increased anxiety, not to mention motion-sickness and eye strain. Creating a better community in real life and investing in opportunities and spaces that can benefit people is what needs to happen. If we build a better real life, we won't need to turn to a digital one to fill the void.  Singer Billie Eilish recently revealed in an interview with Howard Stern that she used to watch a lot of pornography when she was a teen stating, "I started watching porn when I was, like, 11…I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn."
She later commented on how it affected her, saying, "The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to." Eilish describes a larger part of how pornography can negatively affect people's views on sex and self-image, not only for impressionable young people but also for adults. A lot of people turn to pornography as their exposure to sex. While adult content is often used for pleasure, it can set unrealistic expectations for sex, your partner, and you. Depending on the type of adult content someone may view, porn can damage your self-image by comparing your body to the performers in the videos, making you feel inadequate. This, in turn, can lower your self-image by giving yourself unrealistic body standards. It can also give people unrealistic expectations on how sex is supposed to be by creating performance anxiety and whether you're living up to the high energy produced in the videos. By comparing sex with how it's presented in porn, you can also become self-conscious and insecure about your sexual performance and whether you or your partner are measuring up. In addition, it can generate judgment for not just yourself but how you view your partner's body and performance. Like Eilish mentioned, depending on what type of porn you are viewing, it can send bad messages and make you believe that your partner may want to do certain things they are uncomfortable with. One thing that's important to know is that pornography is fantasy. It still uses the same tricks that all productions use. The magic of editing can make two people appear to be going at it for hours. The people in the videos are actors who exaggerate their pleasure to create the illusion of mind-blowing sex. Some people watch pornography, and some people don't. But it's important to know that it's still a performance to heighten the viewer's pleasure. Pornography is easy to access with the internet, and unfortunately, as Eilish later mentions in her interview, "I feel angry now at how much I saw, how easy it was to watch it". She does make a good point; it's very easy for young people to access pornography online, and just like Billie Eilish, it can warp your view of what sex really represents. Sex and pornography are taboo subjects, but sex education in school and talking about it are meaningful ways to teach young people that pornography - like film and television - is a production and does not reflect reality or the consensual relationship to bond people.  No matter how busy I may be in my everyday life, I always try my best to maintain my ongoing relationships and friendships. After all, having those friends by your side is one of the best aspects of life, but sometimes those relationships may only be surface level and there might not be too much behind it.
What does it mean to have a toxic friendship? The reality is that a lot of friendships you have, may not be filled with the same love and depth that you have with your best friend. Some are only meant to be surface level, and that’s fine, however what happens when that surface level friendship starts to drain you? It can be hard to see what’s good for you sometimes, especially when the relationship you have with someone is just platonic. Too many of us put up with too much because the pain that certain relationships bring us scares us less than the pain of letting go of people we love. We also have a tendency to deny toxic relationships or friendships because that toxic environment and behaviour is something we have gotten used to before. Here are some signs to look out for if you feel like your friendship has become toxic: If you feel yourself being unhappy with a friend's behaviour or how things have been lately, you may be involved in a toxic friendship. Here are some signs to look for:
The worst part of realizing that you have a toxic friend is that he/she may be someone to whom you were once much closer but from whom you have drifted. Friend breakups can be just as painful as romantic relationships especially when you realize the friendship is not serving you in a healthy way. Constantly making up excuses for this type of friend can easily build resentment towards them and make you look at them in a worse way, which is not healthy for either side. The best thing to do when confronted with this situation is to sit down with your friend and openly discuss all issues you both have; if both of you wish to continue the friendship, there will be effort and progress. Point blank: You don’t need toxic people in your life, whether people are telling you they are toxic or you believe that on your own, creating your own happiness without having that extra weight on top of your everyday life is something you want to shoot for. Don’t guilt yourself for cutting off something that isn’t serving you anymore, especially if it's creating anxiety and mental health problems. Remember, there was a time you lived before that person and you can do it again without them. But here’s the catch, if the relationship is heading south, it may also be time for you to look within and see if you were problematic during the friendship. If you don’t realize any of these toxic traits in your friend, maybe it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you could be doing wrong. Are you a supportive friend or a distant friend? Or are you a talker or a listener? Or are you a fighter or a lover?  Being in your 20's can be challenging. You're still young and hopeful, but you're also experiencing your first real taste of adulthood. Of course, nobody expects you to know all the answers, but here are some things you can invest yourself in to help you in the long run.
Learn to Budget It's never too early to learn the importance of getting savvy with your money, especially when it comes to budgeting your finances. Take the amount of money you make and manage how to break it up between bills, food, clothes, and how much to put aside for those "treat yourself" purchases. Many banking apps have features that can help you do this to help you live within your means. Once you do, you can start taking control of your money and planning for your future. Learn Something New Even though you might be done with school, that doesn't mean you should be done with learning. Whether you're learning a new skill, like woodworking or cooking, or educating yourself on social issues, take this time to learn as much as you can, even if it's just watching a documentary on Netflix. You can make it easy by learning something new with a friend. Attend community events and groups These events can be get-together with people sharing common interests, hobby groups, game nights, and volunteering with others for a good cause; the possibilities are endless. Find a group that gets together weekly or participate in more community events to meet new people and become more social. Who knows, it might lead to something bigger. Surround Yourself with a Strong Support System Surrounding yourself with a solid group of people who will support your aspirations and goals is the key to success. You can also use this time to leave negativity and negative people behind. Don't be afraid to let them go. Start getting out there and building up your network by becoming more active in your community, surrounding yourself with positive support, and continuing your learning. This will help start you on a good foundation for future success.  In some ways, pride may not be generally viewed as a positive thing. But there is a big difference between boasting and self-confidence. Remember, it’s so important for us to support ourselves throughout our journey of self-love and happiness. Although taking pride in yourself should never be viewed as bad, learning to have self-appreciation can be easier said than done.
If you are struggling to implement self-appreciation into your life, you can take some steps to make this happen. Start with the little things: Look at your day. Is there something small that you did within your day that you can take pride in? Whether it’s washing the dishes, finishing that big assignment, or even getting out of bed, those are all accomplishments within themselves. Even a small victory can be a good one. Practice Positive Projection: Take a look at someone you deeply admire. What is it about them that you admire? What do they bring to the table that you wish you had? Write down exactly what you admire about them, and then see the tiny portions of yourself that fit into that narrative. Remind Yourself of Your Value: This one is never easy, but it’s essential for your personal growth. Of course, we must maintain our relationship with the people we work with, our family and friends, but it’s just as essential to maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves. An easy and simple way to implement a reminder for yourself is writing down self-affirmations. Affirmations are used as positive statements that can be used to help rewire our thoughts to positive ones. Help Others Taking pride in yourself isn’t always an easy task, but one way to bring positivity into your life is by helping those around you. This doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Simply being there for someone, being a good listener, and helping others in need will help reconfirm your self-appreciation and help you realize that everything you’re feeling now is only temporary. Remember, taking pride in yourself and appreciating yourself isn’t bad. On the contrary, it can be a great thing, perhaps one of the best things, because you are worth your own time, energy, and support. And regardless of whatever negative thoughts may come to mind about yourself, you are worthy for no reason other than the fact that you are alive.  With a new year upon us, here are some simple positive changes you can make to your life right now that can help you focus on clearing your mind and putting your health and wellness first.
De-clutter De-cluttering can come with positive benefits. Not only is reorganizing an excellent way to focus and to uplift your mood, but it can also make you do some good in the process. For example, delete your emails, go through your closet and donate your unworn clothes, and throw out that expired food that's been in your fridge for months. De-cluttering will not only help clear up space in your home, but it will give your mind some clarity as well. Carve out some time to exercise every day It doesn't have to be an intense full-body workout. For example, carving out thirty minutes to walk outside or dancing in your living room can help your mindset. Try to find something you enjoy. Start a New Hobby Try a new hobby that will help reduce stress and relax you. For example, try building, cooking, art or writing something in your spare time. Turn off your phone by a certain time in the evening The blue light emitted by your cell phone screen restrains the production of melatonin, the hormone that controls your sleep-wake cycle and keeps you alert, which isn't helpful when trying to sleep. It's time to turn off your phone 30 minutes to an hour before bed to help your brain relax and mentally prepare for a good night's rest. Set a sleep schedule Creating a bedtime routine of going to bed and waking up at a certain time can reduce stress and improve your mood, think more clearly, reduce the risk of heart disease and do better in school and at work. Shut out the negative voices You can start shutting out negative voices by changing your language and how you talk to yourself. Instead of worrying about past mistakes, try to focus on how you can make a positive impact now. Remind yourself that you are good enough and capable of tackling anything. Start practicing self-love today. Don't be afraid to say no Accepting to take on extra work or doing something you don't want to do can reduce your productivity and negatively impact you in the long run. So whatever you're feeling at that moment, don't be afraid to say how you feel or think about it before giving a set answer. Try saying no without feeling guilty, because whatever you choose is the best answer at the moment. Try implementing these into your life today. You'll be surprised at how it impacts you every day.  It was probably a relief for most people when 2020 ended, and 2021 began. However, throughout the year 2021, there were a lot of ups and downs for many. With the continued spike in COVID-19, new strains coming to light, many celebrity deaths, and some tragic world events, it’s easy to get caught up in all the negative aspects of 2021.
But was 2021 all that bad? It’s easy to reflect on the bad times rather than the good ones, but 2021 taught us some much-needed lessons that will help us in 2022.
After applying more sleep and exercise into my life, I felt like a brand-new person. I could do more, and I had more clarity and more focus.
It might be cheesy but tell the people you love and cherish how much they mean to you. You never know how much time you have with someone, all the feelings you have now can end for you in the blink of an eye. So don’t waste your time wondering what it could have been, and be open and honest with others about how you feel.
It only gives you more pain. Learn to forgive yourself and others and move on from the things that have hurt you. If you allow them to dictate and control your every thought, find a way to vocalize it or put it out to the world so you can let go of the pain it is causing you. With each year comes new experiences, new adventures, and new stories to tell, but with every year comes many new lessons and a lot of things to put into perspective. What did you learn from 2021?  It's time to put 2021 behind us and look forward to the new year. Even with the ongoing pandemic, set goals for yourself along with things you would like to accomplish heading into 2022. At the beginning of a new year, many people set New Year's Resolutions for themselves. People set up big things for themselves, but by the end of January, they've already broken many of them. You might know people (or even yourself) that promise to start living a healthier life by creating a workout routine or cutting sugar out of their diet but give up a few weeks into it. You see, the key to creating your goals for the year and keeping your "New Year's Resolutions" is to make them realistic. I can't stress that enough. People often put unrealistic expectations on themselves when creating their resolutions. When you start creating goals for the new year, make sure it's something you can quickly achieve and work towards. Remember, it's the small victories that matter, after all. 1. Start small For example, if you want to be more active, start small. Instead of dedicating yourself to an hour-long workout routine, why not start with finding 15 to 30 minutes a day? Start small so this way, you can push yourself to do more extended amounts of exercise when you're ready. It also doesn't have to be strenuous physical activity. For example, your goal could be to walk more. Find something you like doing and keep pushing yourself little by little. 2. Your goals should be realistic and achievable. Set realistic timelines for yourself. Think about what you hope to achieve by the end of each month or by the end of the year as a whole. For example, if you're starting a new hobby, don't expect yourself to be a professional in a week. Make sure you give yourself some time, and again, be realistic. Examples might look like this:
3. A resolution can be to continue something that brings you joy. Another great way to keep a resolution is to continue doing something you're already doing. For example, if you haven't tried smoking, your resolution could be not to start smoking. If you already go to the gym every day, your resolution can be to continue your workout routine. It's as simple as that. 4. Try to have fun with your New Year Resolutions. Make a list of a couple of books you want to read by the end of 2022. If you're not a reader, your resolution may be to read at least ONE book by the end of the year. Make a list of movies or TV shows you've been putting off that you need to watch before the year's over. When you complete goals, you give yourself a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment. Don't give yourself resolutions that are too difficult or not specific enough. Like I mentioned already, it's the small victories that matter. Don't make them too big or daunting. When making your New Year's Resolutions, make them realistic and as easy as possible; that way, you can succeed at achieving them. Happy New Year from all of us at FABU! |
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May 2022
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