  "We're all born naked, and the rest is drag" - RuPaul. Clothing has always been used to express ourselves and as a way to express our attitudes and behaviours. On a lazy Sunday afternoon, people typically wear comfortable sweatpants and a loose t-shirt to lounge around the house instead of dressing up as they would at their office to look the way they feel. Clothing gives you a chance on how to present yourself to other people. Some clothes never go out of style, like a pencil skirt, jeans, a nice sweater, animal print, etc. Some old trends even tend to come back in style after spending years away, like loose ponytails, knee-high boots and fringed clothing. While some trends make it full circle and become popular again, others fade into obscurity as a relic of their time. I can't see Hammer Pants from the '90s or 70's bell bottoms coming back anytime soon. Some trends stay the test of time, but one trend that's pushing forward is the current trend of more gender-neutral clothing. In 2021, clothes can stand for individual gender expression, or the lack of it, with more examples of individuals using clothing as a way to break down barriers to show off what they're most comfortable displaying to the world. For example, Harry Styles unapologetically wears dresses and other flamboyant clothing because he likes them. Rapper Kid Cudi also proudly wore a dress during a performance on SNL. Women also don't need to be confined within the norms of dresses or skirts. Depending on the clothing brand, gender-neutral clothing can have more neutral colours and shirts and pants can have a baggier fit. Clothing through history was meant to signify personal reflection. In the 17th and 18th centuries of European fashion, men wore more flamboyant clothing to reflect their wealth, as it showcased how much money they had. It was campy and grandiose, but it was normalized as a typical fashion for men. When women began dominating the office in the 1960s, the rise in pantsuits were worn to reflect their new position in what was then considered a mostly male-dominated workspace. When it comes to personal fashion, people like to mix and match clothing styles to find their amount of comfortability, regardless of being male or female. It wasn't until the 1940s where clothing was getting marketed more gender-specifically, with blue being associated with boys and pink being associated with girls. Pants were considered practical for males, and dresses were meant for girls. Clothing has always been a way to break down barriers, regardless of gender. Women’s rights activist Elizabeth Smith Fuller wore pants in order to fight for women’s dress reform, for example. We have seen many trends that come and go throughout the years, but bending the rules has never gone away. Clothing has always been a means of self-expression, showing who you are, whether it's to be comfortable or to express your true style, regardless of colour or make. Fashion and - the people wearing them - are constantly changing. 
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  Listen, I am no therapist or coach, but through working with a good amount of them, I have learned a thing or two about to structure your life properly and how to find a healthy balance between you and your mental health. Now mind you, I haven't applied all of this into my own life yet, but small steps make quite a significant change.
Have you ever heard of the Wheel of Life exercise? This handy exercise that most therapists and coaches use offers a complete view of your current life situation. It was made to help you quickly identify areas of imbalance in your life and allows you to create goals and set priorities based on your life vision. This will help you figure out what you really want out of life and when I say it, I mean it. So how do you do it? Image and instructions courtesy of: Inside-out-coaching.com
Now that you’ve done the easy part, it's time for the hard part; actually making the changes to fulfill all that you want out of life! Allowing yourself to be driven by your desired future is the first step in making differences in your life! After doing this exercise, I'm sure you have more of a clear idea of where you really want to be in your life, with your health, finances, relationships, career and more.  What is it about the silence that makes you so on edge?
With technology demanding our everyday attention, sometimes it feels good to shut everything off and to just be with your thoughts. While technology has allowed us to overcome communication gaps and connected us in many ways, it has seemingly allowed us to abandon any comfort in silence and trust me when I say, it can be scary to be alone with your thoughts but it can also bring you a lot of clarity. Engaging in comfortable silence, alone or with others has many health benefits both physical and mental. Loud noises have been linked to causing an increase in blood pressure and stress, where meditation or sitting in silence has helped many calm their nerves and reduce their stress. While it may be hard to ditch our phones and our everyday distractions and get some time to just be with ourselves, there are some steps you can try and implement when it comes to building back that silence that is comfortable rather than awkward. Put The Phone Down: Okay, this may be an obvious one, but it’s easy to overlook! Oftentimes we spring to social media due to our FOMO and wanting to be up to date with everything but one day away from your phone is not going to kill you. Learn to make the conscious effort to enjoy your everyday life, the people around you and what you are doing, besides using your phone as a way to distract yourself. Practice Mindfulness: Imagine this, you get to a coffee shop to meet your friend and you come to the realization that you forgot your phone in your car, what do you do? Most times you would go back to get your phone to avoid the feeling of being uncomfortable due to needing to have an activity to do. But maybe this one time, you can accept the silence and learn to click into your mind besides distracting yourself constantly with an object. Sit with yourself, even grab a napkin and a pen and write out all the things you want to achieve in a year. You would be shocked with how much you can learn about yourself while being in silence for 5 minutes. Forgiving Yourself: This one is still hard for me, it’s okay to be mad at yourself, disappointed, angry, sad or just done with yourself but the number one thing you need to apply is forgiving yourself. It’s hard to fully move past things but with some inner work you can do it. When was the last time you sat in silence?  “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you’re in charge of.”
– Jim Rohn We’re all human. Everybody makes mistakes. Whether intentional or not, we can do or say something that can hurt people or cause a larger problem for others at work, school, in a relationship, etc. When it comes to making mistakes, the best thing to do is to start taking responsibility and owning up to your actions. Some examples of taking responsibility for your actions can look like:
For some people, taking responsibility for their actions is a real challenge. As a result, some people blame others or make it seem like that problem was out of their control, but in reality, it was from something they caused themselves. While it is true that external factors and other people can contribute to a problem, always making excuses and relying on pointing fingers as a way to distract people from something you’ve done can cause friction and make the situation worse. Unfortunately, you can’t change people who don’t want to change. Some people are stubborn or too proud to admit when they have done something wrong. But to improve ourselves and those around us, some simple steps in accountability can go a long way. Taking responsibility is a way to start taking charge of your life. Taking responsibility can help build trust and respect with others for owning up to your mistakes. When you identify things that aren’t working in your personal or professional life, you can make goals on how to improve them.  I’ve done it and so have you. We keep doing the same thing and expecting the same results. Sometimes they are the results we don’t really want and when it comes to the challenges, the same goes. We keep manifesting the same problems into our lives.
Why is that? Why do the same problems keep occurring? Proponents of the Law of Attraction, believe that if you keep complaining about the same problem or challenge, or keep obsessing over it, you just keep recreating the same problem. Could that be the reason? Possibly, there are many things that happen to us that are completely out of our hands, but remember events and circumstances keep happening to you till you have that one moment, that one take away. The one that is life transforming, the aha-moment! Let’s break it down, why do you keep experiencing the same problems?
In other words, you are only choosing to see or hear what you want. You are not allowing yourself to see the full picture out of fear of disappointment, fear of that same problem rehappening again, besides that, you just choose to ignore it. 2. You believe your way is the only way This all has to do with your ego. You'd rather tune out what others are telling you and don’t allow yourself to grow or learn differently. You choose to look at things your way so that they work out in your mind the way you planned it, but do they actually? 3. Your communication is kinked When a wire is kinked, it can’t transmit a signal properly. If you allow yourself to be closed off and expect others to understand everything about you, you’re wrong. Communication is key when it comes to trusting in the process of life. If you want something, you need to communicate, if something is becoming a problem, communicate. 4. You are stuck in your ways Sometimes problems can be resolved pretty easily, but when you’re stuck in your own ways and don’t listen to others opinions or try and venture out of your bubble, you will keep experiencing the same thing. Venture out of your bubble to experience new adventures, surroundings and environments. You will never grow if you’re content with being in the same spot, always. 5. Be true to what you want Excuses, excuses, excuses. We can keep making excuses as to why we are not getting where we want, or doing what we envisions but at the end of the day, all of that is on you. Nobody is going to give you what you want, you are the creator of your own life! Figure out what you want and what is aligned with your purpose, put yourself out there and go for it! Whether you are older or younger, there is always room to learn something new. Look at some of the top leaders, they pushed past every single problem they have experienced and learned to move forward with what they had. The ability to move past big road bumps in your life is the major key to success. |
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