Not everyone is perfect, and I think that is something we all realize about ourselves. We are nothing close to perfect. However, there are always aspects of ourselves that we improve on, whether that be in relationships, friendships, mental health, or even in your work environment.
Sometimes our own behavioural traits may inevitably conflict with our surroundings from time to time, especially if that behaviour turns into toxic characteristics. However, when it comes to toxic traits within us, it is hard to realize that sometimes our behaviour can be harmful to the people around us.
Especially if these toxic traits are causing you problems in your everyday life, we often tend to blame the people around us for the reason things aren't working out the way we planned. Still, it always takes an emotionally mature person to look inwards and see where they play a part in the situation surrounding them.
Ask Yourself: Are You Self Aware?
Being self-aware means being open and honest with yourself and doing the much-needed work to improve your behavioural habits. Constantly checking in with yourself can help you realize that the problem isn't always the other person's fault.
But what are some toxic traits that stand out within us or others that can cause these constant issues within our lives?
One of the biggest traits that stand out is negativity. So ask yourself this question, "Am I constantly approaching situations from a negative mindset?"
If that sounds like something you do, many of us use this as a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from going out on a limb, avoiding change, or taking a risk. But unfortunately, having a negative mindset can affect every aspect of your life. It can take a complete toll on your mental health and others around you.
We as humans tend to give a lot of our attention to the negative aspects of our life. The things we don't have, the things we want more of, but often we forget to pause for a minute to realize all that we have around us and all we have to be grateful for.
Are you judging others for how they're living their lives? Do you judge others when they confide in you with personal information?
Just remember, someone else's life is their life, and your life is yours. Focusing too much on someone else's life tells how you feel about yourself and your own situation. Choosing to focus on someone else's life showcases your insecurities within yourself. Learn to work through the problems you feel within yourself and focus on yourself.
Taking No Responsibility:
Not taking responsibility for your actions is a common trait and a sign of immaturity as well. Being emotionally mature and self-aware means that you are able and willing to admit when you're wrong. Unfortunately, this toxic trait goes hand in hand with not apologizing when you do something wrong, which leads to many relationship and friendship problems.
It's essential to take responsibility in those vulnerable situations, and when you're able to do this, it will help others realize that you are willing to change and work on yourself.
What To Do If You Have Toxic Traits?
When it comes to changing your behavioural habits, you already acknowledge a part of yourself that you may have avoided changing. So when you start your journey of self-awareness, it's important to be honest with yourself, even if it means asking yourself those tricky questions about the past and reflecting.
Everyone has parts of themselves they want to improve on. Remember that no one is perfect, no matter how much you think someone is. The first step to bettering yourself is recognizing the areas you need to improve on.
It's all about working on your self-awareness and growing as an individual.
In 2021, Mark Zuckerberg announced his plan to focus on the "metaverse", connecting virtual reality with PC, mobile devices, and game consoles to connect to a larger virtual world. As a result, you can use any of these devices and still be connected to them.
Virtual reality is often associated with gaming, but the idea of the "metaverse" is much bigger. The idea is for someone to create a 3D avatar and use the "metaverse" as a new virtual way to connect beyond gaming, which includes interacting with other 3D avatars for business meetings, hanging out, or even attending virtual events, like concerts using VR technology.
This is seen as the next step in the internet evolution and represents a shift in how we interact with technology and each other.
The "metaverse" is meant to be a way to heighten our connections beyond a simple Zoom call. Now we can put on our headsets and meet people in virtual rooms where it looks like other avatars are right there with us in this 3D virtual world.
With this new technology whose main goal is to connect us even more than ever before, is it really bringing us closer together?
It heightens your experience for gaming, yes, but when it comes to other modes of "meeting with friends", is talking to a 3D avatar better than looking at someone's actual face over Zoom or in-person?
Human interaction in the physical world offers many mental health benefits that include boosting your mood and creates a sense of security.
When we were isolated during the pandemic, we weren't yearning for less human interaction; we wanted more in-person visits with friends and family. Of course, the "metaverse" can provide experiences you don't have access to, like riding a roller coaster or going on a nature walk without leaving the comfort of your own home, but using it as a substitute is not what we should be investing in.
The "metaverse" and VR does have their perks, but being isolated by yourself, even when you're supposed to be social, can come with increased anxiety, not to mention motion-sickness and eye strain.
Creating a better community in real life and investing in opportunities and spaces that can benefit people is what needs to happen. If we build a better real life, we won't need to turn to a digital one to fill the void.
2/14/2022 0 Comments
Singer Billie Eilish recently revealed in an interview with Howard Stern that she used to watch a lot of pornography when she was a teen stating, "I started watching porn when I was, like, 11…I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn."
She later commented on how it affected her, saying, "The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to."
Eilish describes a larger part of how pornography can negatively affect people's views on sex and self-image, not only for impressionable young people but also for adults. A lot of people turn to pornography as their exposure to sex. While adult content is often used for pleasure, it can set unrealistic expectations for sex, your partner, and you.
Depending on the type of adult content someone may view, porn can damage your self-image by comparing your body to the performers in the videos, making you feel inadequate. This, in turn, can lower your self-image by giving yourself unrealistic body standards.
It can also give people unrealistic expectations on how sex is supposed to be by creating performance anxiety and whether you're living up to the high energy produced in the videos.
By comparing sex with how it's presented in porn, you can also become self-conscious and insecure about your sexual performance and whether you or your partner are measuring up. In addition, it can generate judgment for not just yourself but how you view your partner's body and performance.
Like Eilish mentioned, depending on what type of porn you are viewing, it can send bad messages and make you believe that your partner may want to do certain things they are uncomfortable with.
One thing that's important to know is that pornography is fantasy. It still uses the same tricks that all productions use. The magic of editing can make two people appear to be going at it for hours. The people in the videos are actors who exaggerate their pleasure to create the illusion of mind-blowing sex.
Some people watch pornography, and some people don't. But it's important to know that it's still a performance to heighten the viewer's pleasure. Pornography is easy to access with the internet, and unfortunately, as Eilish later mentions in her interview, "I feel angry now at how much I saw, how easy it was to watch it".
She does make a good point; it's very easy for young people to access pornography online, and just like Billie Eilish, it can warp your view of what sex really represents. Sex and pornography are taboo subjects, but sex education in school and talking about it are meaningful ways to teach young people that pornography - like film and television - is a production and does not reflect reality or the consensual relationship to bond people.
No matter how busy I may be in my everyday life, I always try my best to maintain my ongoing relationships and friendships. After all, having those friends by your side is one of the best aspects of life, but sometimes those relationships may only be surface level and there might not be too much behind it.
What does it mean to have a toxic friendship?
The reality is that a lot of friendships you have, may not be filled with the same love and depth that you have with your best friend. Some are only meant to be surface level, and that’s fine, however what happens when that surface level friendship starts to drain you?
It can be hard to see what’s good for you sometimes, especially when the relationship you have with someone is just platonic. Too many of us put up with too much because the pain that certain relationships bring us scares us less than the pain of letting go of people we love. We also have a tendency to deny toxic relationships or friendships because that toxic environment and behaviour is something we have gotten used to before.
Here are some signs to look out for if you feel like your friendship has become toxic:
If you feel yourself being unhappy with a friend's behaviour or how things have been lately, you may be involved in a toxic friendship. Here are some signs to look for:
The worst part of realizing that you have a toxic friend is that he/she may be someone to whom you were once much closer but from whom you have drifted. Friend breakups can be just as painful as romantic relationships especially when you realize the friendship is not serving you in a healthy way.
Constantly making up excuses for this type of friend can easily build resentment towards them and make you look at them in a worse way, which is not healthy for either side. The best thing to do when confronted with this situation is to sit down with your friend and openly discuss all issues you both have; if both of you wish to continue the friendship, there will be effort and progress.
Point blank: You don’t need toxic people in your life, whether people are telling you they are toxic or you believe that on your own, creating your own happiness without having that extra weight on top of your everyday life is something you want to shoot for. Don’t guilt yourself for cutting off something that isn’t serving you anymore, especially if it's creating anxiety and mental health problems. Remember, there was a time you lived before that person and you can do it again without them.
But here’s the catch, if the relationship is heading south, it may also be time for you to look within and see if you were problematic during the friendship. If you don’t realize any of these toxic traits in your friend, maybe it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you could be doing wrong. Are you a supportive friend or a distant friend? Or are you a talker or a listener? Or are you a fighter or a lover?