Written by a F.A.B.U. contributor
What is FOMO? FOMO refers to the Fear of Missing Out.
What is becoming a real phenomenon that has become increasingly common and can cause significant stress in your life, the fear of missing out is feeling anxious or worried about missing out on something, usually a social event or a gathering (like a party). This feeling can stem from the fear of missing something important, or missing something fun when you're not there.
FOMO can also refer to the anxiety of missing out on something because you weren't invited. Either way, it's that lonesome feeling of not being included.
So when did FOMO start?
The fear that you may be missing out isn't anything new, however, the term was coined in 1996 after a research paper by marketing strategist, Dr. Dan Herman was done to identify what FOMO really meant.
When it comes to the feeling of missing out, it doesn't help when everyone on your friend list is frequently posting about events that you're not a part of. In this era of social media, where people are always posting about vacations, concerts, parties, etc., it's easy to feel left out or envious of other people's experiences.
FOMO has been linked to creating negative thinking, and could lower our self-esteem by comparing our lives to those we see on our social media feeds.
If you think you're experiencing FOMO, you should consider the following:
If I was invited, should I have gone?
Sometimes, you might have been invited to attend something, but you decided to say "no." Remind yourself why you made that decision. At the time, saying "no" was the right decision. Maybe you just wanted to take some time for yourself. Perhaps you weren't in the mood. Either way, don't feel ashamed for saying no. Sure, there might be some scandalous thing that may happen that people might talk about later, but you made your decision for a reason.
Create your fun and create your own experiences. A lot of the time, the reason why people post about attending events or vacations is to brag.
Just remember that everyone's good times look different. It might not be a giant party or attending a music festival. It could just be a low-key hang out with a few close friends.
In general, don't fear missing out on something. Focus on your life and what matters to you.
If you decide not to attend something you've been invited to, remember that sometimes missing out can be just as good.
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Let me start this off by saying that I believe that men and women should be equal. Nobody should have an issue having a female boss, a female doctor, female lawyers, etc.
Do I think women should get paid the same as men for doing the same job? Absolutely.
But, we need to talk about toxic feminism. Yes, this is a thing. You’re probably familiar with the term toxic masculinity. It’s one of those terms that keep coming up on social media.
Well, guess what? Toxic feminism is a thing, too. And I’m going to talk about it right here.
Toxic feminism doesn’t apply to all feminists. It’s just a group of radical feminists that believe that raising women involves lowering men.
This is shown a lot online where a man will make one small critique. Then, female commenters will come in with an aggressive rant by demonizing all men and blaming them for the world’s problems - and sometimes, for their personal problems as well.
Feminism is meant to empower and make changes where they are due to make things better, not used as a weapon against men or thinking that it’s time for women to have all the power.
Not to mention the double standard happening here. Women don’t like when men make general assumptions about them. But, it’s “ok” for these radical feminists to generalize all men as aggressive oppressors?
While it is true that men have gotten away with a lot in the past, and toxic masculinity is still an ongoing problem. Still, it doesn’t mean that women have the right to act and behave the same way. Both women and men should be held accountable.
For example, in an era where the #MeToo movement is cracking down on men like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein, who are finally getting justice for their predatory behaviour, there’s barely any conversation going on about women who assault men.
Remember when Cardi B admitted to drugging men and robbing them when they went back up to her hotel room?
Nothing came of it. She didn’t get cancelled. She got a little bit of criticism online, but overall, people just laughed it off because, you know, “classic Cardi” and didn’t get any repercussions. She even starred in the movie Hustlers, which pretty much featured this same scenario. It was never brought up again.
We can’t have equality if that’s the attitude that people have. If it’s wrong for a man to do something, it’s also wrong for a woman to do the same thing. All because men have gotten away with it doesn’t mean women should get a pass.
I’ll finish off with this final thought. We need to keep fighting for human rights, but we can't be hypocrite about it. Men and women can help each other succeed with respect and understanding.
So, what really is a feminist?
Written by Julianna Bonnett
With so many different interpretations of feminism, it can be difficult to understand what it means to be a feminist. To some, this term resembles images of political, social, and economic equality for men and women. To others, this term resembles man-hating women who are planning to steal all power from men.
While most women would argue that feminism begins and ends with the textbook definition of it, which is the belief for political and economic rights for both men and women, modern feminists argue that the movement has changed from what it was initially meant to be used for.
A common critique that we hear about the F word is that “we’ve gone too far.” Some people say feminism has created a gender ideology but are we all just looking at it wrong? Has the media brainwashed us into believing it’s something that it is not?
So, what is the history behind feminism?
The first wave of feminism happened in the late 19th century and early 20th centuries. First-wave feminists were known as suffragettes; they campaigned for women’s right to vote and women’s right to work.
The second wave of feminism came in the 1960s and 1970s. Their focus was on fighting for equal pay and the right to live free from physical and sexual violence and reproductive rights.
The third wave of feminism started during the 1990s and has continued today. This is a more inclusive form of feminism that considers race, ethnicity, and sexual identity. It recognizes that every woman’s experiences are different but continues to fight for the same rights and principles as the second wave.
But if I had a nickel for every time, I hear someone say, “I’m not a feminist,” I would be rich. As a proud feminist, I can say this; I don’t hate men, I don’t want to take their power away from them, I don’t want anything like that. The simple textbook definition of this issue is that all we want is equality, and I don’t think that is much to ask for. That being said, I understand why some don’t want to identify themselves as a feminist. Sadly, the feminist movement has had a history of excluding women of colour and marginalizing their struggles. Still, the mainstream feminist movement has done a lot to include many females of different colour, race, religion, and sexuality.
The bottom line is, everyone has a right to identify as they please, and everyone deserves equality. If you believe that, maybe you are a feminist after all.
Check out the 2nd part of this story next week when we look at feminism told from the point of view from our male guest writer.
Written by a F.A.B.U. contributor
Failure is a part of life, and what you learn from those mistakes is how to become successful in the future.
You might have failed a test in school or made an embarrassing mistake at work. You may feel discouraged. You might even tell yourself that you can't do anything right and that you should give up and quit.
Fortunately, you can use those feelings of defeat and discouragement to fuel you to make changes and ensure it doesn't happen again. This determination can propel you to succeed later to prove to everyone - and yourself - that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to, no matter how many times you fail.
Here are some tips on how to turn the feeling of failure into fuel:
When you make a mistake, don't shut down and focus on it for too long. It's natural to feel defeated. You are human after all, but don't fret too much about it. Instead, use that feeling to work harder and push yourself forward.
With that said...
Push yourself and keep going. Prove to yourself that you can do it. Don't get stuck too much in your head. Sometimes, we think a problem is a bigger deal than it actually is.
Recognize the problem and what steps you can take to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Ask yourself: Were you responsible for the outcome? Maybe you didn't put as much effort in as you should have?
Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it or try to find a different route to solve the problem. Whatever the case is, reflect on what happened and learn from it.
When it comes to making mistakes, sometimes you don't get a second chance. As a result, you might not be able to retake the test, or you may even get fired for your error on the job. But, the experience will leave an impact.
Remember to learn what you've done wrong, and moving forward, you'll know to do something different to prevent it. Use the feeling of failure to motivate you to push forward and try harder for next time.
Success doesn't happen unless you fail a million times. That is when true success comes into play.
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Even though we're still in the middle of a pandemic and will be for the next little while, it's time to start putting 2020 behind us and to start looking ahead at a brand new year with a fresh start.
At the beginning of a new year, many people set New Year's Resolutions for themselves. It's a tale as old as time. People set up big things for themselves, but by the end of January, they've already broken them.
You might know people (or yourself) that promise to start living a healthier life by starting a workout routine or cutting sugar out of their diet, but give up a few weeks into it.
You see, the key to creating your goals for the year and keeping your "New Year's Resolutions" is to make them realistic and I can't stress that enough. A majority of the time, people put unrealistic expectations in place when creating their resolutions.
When you start creating goals for the new year, make sure it's something you can quickly achieve and work towards.
Remember, it's the small victories that matter, after all.
For example, if you want to be more active, start small.
Instead of dedicating yourself to an hour-long workout routine, why not start with finding 15 to 30 minutes a day? Start small so this way, you can push yourself to do more extended amounts of exercise when you're ready. It also doesn't have to be strenuous physical activity. Your goal could be to walk more.
Find something you like doing and keep pushing yourself little by little.
Not only should your goals be realistic, but they should also be achievable.
Set realistic timelines for yourself.
Think about what you hope to achieve by the end of each month or by the end of the year as a whole.
For example, if you're starting a new hobby, don't expect yourself to be a professional in a week. Make sure you give yourself some time, and again, be realistic.
Examples might look like this:
I want to be able to cook two new meals by February.
I want to learn at least three songs on the piano by the end of July.
I want to lose 10 pounds and keep it off by the end of 2021.
Another great way to keep a resolution is to continue doing something you're already doing.
For example, if you haven't tried smoking, your resolution could be not to start smoking. If you already go to the gym every day, your resolution can be to continue your workout routine. It's as simple as that.
Try to have fun with your New Year Resolutions.
Make a list of a couple of books you want to read by the end of 2021.
If you're not a reader, your resolution may be to read at least ONE book by the end of the year.
Make a list of movies or TV shows you've been putting off that you need to watch before the year is done.
When you complete goals, you give yourself a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Don't give yourself resolutions that are too difficult or not specific enough. Like I mentioned already, it's the small victories that matter. Don't make them too big or daunting.
When making your New Year’s Resolutions, make them realistic and as easy as possible; that way, you can succeed at achieving them.
Happy New Year from all of us at FABU!