A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

​If you have ever sat down and wrote in your journal when you were mad or upset, you know how therapeutic it can be. It is the same when you address a letter to yourself, your younger self.
 
Holding onto the past and projecting into the future can be damaging when it comes to your mental health, most of us are just trying to reach the goal of being in the present moment. With this small exercise we face the past head-on with a letter to our younger self.
 
Dear anonymous,
Looking back at my life there is so much I wish I knew back then that I know now. I’ve dealt with so much in my short life and I often find myself longing for the childhood I couldn’t wait to grow out of.
 
I wish I knew that the good moments with my parents would end and eventually I would be an angsty teenager that thought I knew better than them. My parents did not make the best decisions when I was younger, and I have always held that against them but looking back they were only doing the best they knew how.
 
I wish I knew back then that my parents did everything they could to give me a good life but before having me they never dealt with their own personal demons. Back then I was too young to see that and now I see them for what they truly are, two individuals that are struggling to be happy, like I am.
 
I wish I knew that true love does exist, even if I never really saw it at home. I wish I experienced the love my parents use to have for one another. Once upon a time they had love for one another, but that flame went out long ago and left behind two empty people living under the same roof out of obligation. If I knew that true love existed earlier on in my life, maybe I wouldn’t have accepted less and stayed with a man who abused me on every level except physically. I would have realized that I deserved better in my life.
 
I wish I knew that I would be forced to grow up at 14 after a tragedy that flipped my entire life around. Back then I could not wait to grow up and now I long to be a kid again. I wish I would have known that I would be a parent before I ever had kids; that I would have to be a parent to my own parents because they couldn’t take care of themselves anymore.
 
Looking back on my life, my journey has been a hard one and I wish I knew when I was younger that one day, I would be happier. That the nightmares would stop, and I would not wake up in a cold sweat, crying, just wanting to be held by my mom. I wish I knew then that I could handle anything life threw at me and I would and have achieved amazing things. 
 
All the things that I have gone through in my past have shaped me into the person I am today, a strong, independent, and intelligent woman that can achieve anything. My life is difficult but I wouldn't change a thing about it, I'm grateful for all that it taught me and I still find reasons to smile every day.