Toxic Relationships/ Friendships and when to know when it has run it's course

No matter how busy I may be in my everyday life, I always try my best to maintain my ongoing relationships and friendships. After all, having those friends by your side is one of the best aspects of life, but sometimes those relationships may only be surface level and there might not be too much behind it. 

What does it mean to have a toxic friendship? 

The reality is that a lot of friendships you have, may not be filled with the same love and depth that you have with your best friend. Some are only meant to be surface level, and that’s fine, however what happens when that surface level friendship starts to drain you? 

It can be hard to see what’s good for you sometimes, especially when the relationship you have with someone is just platonic. Too many of us put up with too much because the pain that certain relationships bring us scares us less than the pain of letting go of people we love.  We also have a tendency to deny toxic relationships or friendships because that toxic environment and behaviour is something we have gotten used to before. 

Here are some signs to look out for if you feel like your friendship has become toxic: 

If you feel yourself being unhappy with a friend's behaviour or how things have been lately, you may be involved in a toxic friendship. Here are some signs to look for:

1. They have crossed a major boundary with you, with no apologies. 
2. Instead of communicating that something is wrong, they make passive-aggressive comments.
3. They are jealous of you/your other friendships.
4. They insult you or are mean to the people around you. 
5. They act jealous of you.
6. They aren't there to celebrate your success.
7. They are not interested in details about your life OR they are too interested to learn more about you to use it against you.
8. They don’t listen to your concerns and feelings.
9. No matter the communication you have had about past problems, they still continue to make the same mistakes.

When To Walk Away:
The worst part of realizing that you have a toxic friend is that he/she may be someone to whom you were once much closer but from whom you have drifted. Friend breakups can be just as painful as romantic relationships especially when you realize the friendship is not serving you in a healthy way. 

Constantly making up excuses for this type of friend can easily build resentment towards them and make you look at them in a worse way, which is not healthy for either side. The best thing to do when confronted with this situation is to sit down with your friend and openly discuss all issues you both have; if both of you wish to continue the friendship, there will be effort and progress.

Point blank: You don’t need toxic people in your life, whether people are telling you they are toxic or you believe that on your own, creating your own happiness without having that extra weight on top of your everyday life is something you want to shoot for. Don’t guilt yourself for cutting off something that isn’t serving you anymore, especially if it's creating anxiety and mental health problems. Remember, there was a time you lived before that person and you can do it again without them. 

But here’s the catch, if the relationship is heading south, it may also be time for you to look within and see if you were problematic during the friendship. If you don’t realize any of these toxic traits in your friend, maybe it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you could be doing wrong.  Are you a supportive friend or a distant friend? Or are you a talker or a listener? Or are you a fighter or a lover?