Choosing empowerment over jealously

Written by Julianna Bonnett

Being a woman is HARD. Not only do we deal with skyrocketing emotions, around 450 periods in our lifetime, bearing children, but we’re also conditioned from an early age that we have to fit in with society’s beauty standards, all along with having to portray ourselves as one of those really “chill chicks” like the ones you see in the movie’s that don’t give a fuck about what anyone says. Problem is, many women become competitive with one another and I’m not talking about competing in sports, I’m talking about competing over everything. Who has the best makeup? Best outfits? Cutest relationship? Best career?

Listen, we all struggle with jealously from time to time and trust me I get it, but the hard bit is being able to look at it with a cool, rational head so that you can wiggle out of its grasp before it starts to suffocate you and eat you alive. It sounds dramatic but you would be surprised by how much jealously and being envious over someone can really damage your mental health and overall well-being.
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Of course, we can be jealous about a numerous amount of things but for the purpose of this article, I’m going to focus on the most potentially damaging kind, which is being jealous of other women. As a woman, jealously is deep rooted within me, but after analyzing why I’m jealous of other women, I came to the core realization that it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me, so buckle up and get ready for the ride, you might learn a thing or two.
 
1)Recognize what is driving your jealously
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It seems like such a simple thing to do but you would be surprised by how many women would rather not analyze and figure out why they feel a type of way towards other women. Chances are there are some parts of yourself that you don’t like and your jealously towards other women is your way of projecting your own insecurities onto them. If you’re anything like me, sometimes you can lose yourself in the Instagram rabbit hole and become annoyingly obsessed with following those flawless, perfect girls who seem to have it all together. This is one of the most poisonous things I did to myself, and nothing against those women, cause it fully highlighted in me what I needed to work on, which was practicing self-love and improving my self-esteem so I could come to realization that not everything online is what is seems.
 
2)Think about all the things you do have
 
Being negative is so flippen easy. I mean, studies show that it takes six muscles to frown and a whopping 12 muscles to smile. It’s a lot of work but if you keep reminding yourself every day that there is something or someone out there that you are grateful for, I guarantee it will help you look at life a little bit easier. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in all the negative and continuing to project your fears into the future but we tend to forget that the best way to live is to think in the present moment and in the present moment, most things are ok.
 
These are some of the things that I find beneficial when it comes to realizing that those girls who looked like they have it going on, are most likely struggling with the same thing I struggle with. Learning how to be kind to one another is the best way to live a happier and healthier life, filled with many adventures and tons of laughs.