Do you find it harder to date the longer you're single?

Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor

Some people find it hard to be single. You might know someone who jumps into another relationship right after their last one ended.

Meanwhile, others find it hard to jump back into the dating pool after being single for a long time.  When you are single for a long time, you develop many self-sufficiency skills and get used to your independence. You learn to appreciate your own company and learn to become more reliant on yourself instead of relying on your partner.

As more time passes, you find yourself developing new routines of how you work by yourself and sometimes, it’s hard to find the motivation to put yourself out there.

In some ways, being single might feel better.  Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, even mentions that being single can scientifically improve your life compared to those who aren’t.

There’s also that sense of comfort. You become comfortable with your sense of solitude and the freedoms that come along with it. You’re comfortable with your work, your relationship with friends and family and with how you relax after a long day. With that comfort, you might find it hard to start dating because you’re unsure of how to squeeze another person into your life or worry about how they will fit with your routine.

When you’ve been single for a long time, you get a better sense of self, along with maturity and self-reliance.  In the long run, this will help you build a mature relationship. 

When it comes to finding the right partner, this sense of self will ultimately lead to healthy boundaries in your relationship.  It will help you understand how you are as an individual and how you work as a partner. 
 
So, take the time you need to be single.  When you are ready to jump into the dating game, figuring out who you are will help give you a clear understanding of who you are looking for in a partner.

And if you want to stay single, that works just as well.