How To Love Properly After A Break Up

If toxic people were an ingestible substance, I would hope that they would come with a warning label or secure packaging to prevent us from coming in contact or overdosing on them.

Whether it's with your partner, a friend, or family member, toxic relationships can easily take a toll on a person's mental and physical health. Whether you want to admit it or not, these relationships can make you feel worthless and like you are the one at fault. Then once you leave, you feel guilty for leaving. 

I know how that is. After four years of being out of my toxic relationship, I can honestly say it gets easier. The days following my breakup, I felt like I should go back because I kept telling myself that no one else would want me.

But here's what I discovered; as the years went on, the tears dried, the screams in my head telling me I was worthless turned into whispers, and now I feel free in my everyday life. I am laughing and smiling, and I am not talking about a fake smile that you put on, so others think you are okay. I am talking about a smile that fits your face, a genuine smile that comes with the realization that you do not need the affirmation that you're loved because you love yourself.

So, here is some advice I can give you that helped me during these dark times:

1) Learn About Self-Love:
Work on loving yourself, on seeing the good in the mirror and your self-worth. This may not be easy at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it will feel. 

2) Accept The Journey:
It may not be a comfortable journey, but it will be worth it. You will know it is worth it when you can look into the future and see all the things you can and will achieve. Even when their's hiccups in your journey, never stop seizing the moment and creating new and fun achievements for yourself.

3) Live In The Present, Move On From The Past:
Choose to live in the present moment rather than in the past. By doing this, you're taking back your power. It may take time for you to become clear on what you want and to relight that ignition in your soul, but you will learn how to focus on the now and move on from the past.

4) Feel Every Emotion
If you want to cry, then cry, if you're going to scream, then scream. Bottling up your emotions and not expressing them will only lead to more unresolved issues in the future, and it will control your life for years to come. Ways to release these emotions are consulting a friend, a therapist, journaling out your feelings, or even taking a deep breath and realizing what is holding you back.

5) Surround Yourself With Loving People:
After feeling starved for love for so long, turn to the people that offer you love and support. Those people will lift your spirits and show you what you should have always been.

6) Treat This As A Learning Lesson:
After coming out of a toxic relationship, you learn so much. You'll learn how to truly love yourself and what you don't want or deserve in the future. 

7) Regret Nothing
The relationship may have hurt you, but it was still a part of your life. It even helped shape you into who you are today, and as you grow and learn to love yourself more, you'll be thankful for that.

So can a relationship break a person? Yes, it can, but when you begin putting yourself back together with the right puzzle pieces to complete yourself, you'll become fulfilled in every aspect of yourself and learn not to use your fake smile and always to show your real, genuine one instead.