the difference between confidence vs. cockiness

Written by A FABU Contributor

As Demi Lovato said, “What’s wrong with being confident?”

Confidence makes you feel good about yourself, your talents, and your abilities.  It allows you to walk into a room knowing what your uniqueness brings to the table. 

Self-confidence gives you the power to feel comfortable with who you are as a person, and having confidence in other people will give that assurance to someone else.

With that said, there is such a thing as having too much confidence, to the point where it becomes toxic. This is the point where confidence turns into cockiness.

Confidence and arrogance can be confused, especially when it comes to people who work in high positions.

When a woman is bossy, they can sometimes be labelled a “bitch”.
When a man is bossy, they can sometimes be labelled a “douchebag”.

Someone should not be labelled in this way just because they expect a high level of work, but there is a point where over confidence can turn into demeaning behavior towards others. 

To break it down, people who are confident in themselves have a clear understanding of what they want out of themselves and other people.  Whereas, someone who's arrogant might boss around others in order to satisfy their ego.

Take a second to think about the people in your own life.  You can probably think of someone who comes to mind who is confident.  Now, compare them to someone who you deem as arrogant.  You can probably identify the difference just by the shift in the energy they give off and how they talk about themselves.

Usually, someone who’s cocky tends to have an inflated sense of confidence and a heightened view of themselves and what they've achieved, creating a sense that they are better than everybody else.  This, in turn makes the people around them feeling annoyed and undervalued.

Confident people know what they want and still expect a certain level of hard work out of others, but they will lift up those around them in order for everyone to achieve and succeed.

Arrogant people usually tend to brag about their achievements and might even belittle those around them by talking down to them in a condescending way.
They might even make everything about them, instead of getting input from others or taking other people into consideration.

It’s like how the old saying goes “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” When someone is arrogant, it can be difficult to work with them. And if you try to confront them on their behavior and how it impacts morale,  there may be some push back as it is hard for them to understand what they're doing wrong, and will shrug it off. 

But, when you lift people up and work together, it reflects well not only on the team you are working with, but it reflects well on yourself, so you can confidently present your best work.

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