Some people have a clear sense of their sexuality and who they are, and labelling their sexual orientation (whether it be straight, gay, bi, queer, etc.) is not an issue.
But some might not want to choose to label their sexuality. Sexuality is complex, and it can change from person to person.
What if you consider yourself straight, but you feel a special attraction to someone of the same sex/gender? Do you have to label yourself as bisexual now because of this same-sex attraction you never experienced before?
Labels are mainly used as a way to categorise people quickly. Yet, for some reason, when it comes to queer people, society expects an explanation once they learn of someone's sexuality.
An article from Shifting Her Experience mentions that :
"A frequent problem we see time and time again with labels is having to constantly "explain ourselves." We've been asked about our sexual history...if we had boyfriends before, what age we knew we were gay, and ... if we ever had threesomes since we are bisexual...we don't have to explain ourselves because we are gay."
Humans are constantly evolving and changing. You are not the same person you were five or ten years ago. The best part of the human experience is continuously discovering new things about ourselves. We can go our whole lives being "straight" or "gay", but does a new attraction deserve a new label for you?
If we have a clear idea of our sexuality and how we want to be identified, we are free to share it with other people, but it shouldn't be required.
As the letters of the 2SLGBTQIA+ become more inclusive by adding new definitions that span the broad spectrum of human sexuality, it's clear that some people cannot be labelled. The relationships between two consenting adults can be diverse and fluid, and sexuality can become more complex when it comes to gender identity.
Non-binary writer Suzannah Weiss explained it best:
"Most popular conceptions of sexual orientation seem to assume that everybody is attracted either to people who have penises and identify as men or people who have vaginas and identify as women. But trans and non-binary people call these assumptions into question: should sexual orientation be defined by your partners' identities or body parts? If your partner is non-binary, what orientation is that?
As a non-binary person, it's impossible to say if I like the "same" or "opposite" gender. Would "straight" for me mean only sleeping with non-binary people? The whole concept becomes almost nonsensical after a certain point. It just doesn't make sense to squeeze myself into this limiting definition."
You never know who you'll be attracted to. You might identify one way, but that can always change. Likewise, you don't know who the universe will put into your life or who your soulmate might be.
Overall, you know who you are, and not everything deserves an explanation. Whether you choose to label yourself or not, it's nobody's business but your own.
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