Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Back in early 2001, a group in a town in New Mexico started a bonfire. This bonfire wasn’t to roast marshmallows, it was to burn Harry Potter books. The boy wizard was accused of promoting satanism.
In 2005, a case in Georgia was taken to the supreme court to ban Harry Potter books from schools for this exact same reason.
Numerous fans laughed it off, calling these book burnings ridiculous. Do they really think that a book about a boy going to school to learn magic will really make kids worship satan and practice witchcraft?
It’s preposterous, yes.
But in 2021, people are now asking themselves “does Grease promote sexism?”
Now, in the age of cancel culture, we’re seeing more and more timely classics being censored or removed over problematic content.
Celebrities are being canceled, historical figures are being canceled, food mascots are being canceled. The list can go on and on.
But for today's portion of the blog, we’re talking about books, tv, and film.
Censorship is nothing new, especially when it comes to adults making decisions as to what may or may not be appropriate for young people.
In English class, you might have even been assigned to pick a book off of a “banned book list”, or at least a book that has been challenged due to its content. Some of these books include Catcher and the Rye, To Kill A Mockingbird, Animal Farm and many others that were challenged due to their adult themes and deemed too extreme for high school students.
To quote Oscar Wilde:
"There is no such thing as a moral or an
immoral book. Books are well written,
or badly written. That is all."
To move away from those old books, some recent “cancellations” from companies trying to get “ahead” of cancel culture include six Dr. Seuss books (note, none of the popular ones), Mr. Potato Head becoming gender neutral, and Pepe le Pew getting removed from the second Space Jam movie.
Are these books/toys/movies worth getting removed by their companies because they deserve it, or is it simply out of fear of being called out? Did anybody even give a second thought to an animated skunk or a plastic potato that you stick plastic noses and lips to? Is this what people really want?
Today, because of the ongoing discussions of race, sexuality and gender, many people are watching old pieces of media and reading books with a new perspective.
Some more of the recently accused include the 1974 musical, Grease, for lacking diversity and being called out for the way the female characters are treated.
Grease is a product of the time. Is there a lack of diversity and are there scenes that exhibit sexist behaviour? Sure.
But we cannot look at older pieces of media with today’s values.
We need to remember that people’s attitudes and social views have changed significantly, even within the past five years.
Due to social media, people are more vocal about having better representation in film, and Hollywood is striving to do better, especially with all the ways we consume media.
Media is powerful, and more representation is always welcomed, but going after old pieces of mainstream media is not going to solve any problems.
They were a product of their time and should be used as a tool to learn. It’s like history. We learn about history - the good parts and the bad parts - to learn about what happened so it doesn’t happen again.
When it comes to old pieces of mainstream media with problematic content that doesn’t align with today’s views, here are some things to consider:
1.What year does this take place or when was this filmed? What were the values of the time?
For a movie like Grease, for example, takes place in the 1950’s. Unfortunately, during that time, they were not having the same conversations about gender roles or diversity as we do now.
2. What were the intentions of this film/book/show?
When it comes down to it, Grease is a harmless musical. The producers did not have malicious intent or ulterior motives when making it.
But if the intent was meant to harm, damage, or promote hate towards certain groups, then, yes, the reason for cancellation is valid.
3. Artistic Merit - A movie or book can be problematic, but still have artistic merit (remember the Oscar Wilde quote above?) For example, Gone With The Wind contains problematic representations of how black people are portrayed at a southern plantation. This is 100 percent true, but the film does feature artistic merit that do classify it as a cinematic achievement, such as costumes, cinematography, acting and having the most iconic lines in film history: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
There needs to be some autonomy. Instead of calling for the removal or cancellation of books and mainstream media, people should educate themselves, especially by focusing on the younger demographic who might not understand how the social views/behaviour of the time affected how certain people were treated and represented over fifty years ago. If a movie is in black and white, you’re guaranteed to find something problematic.
People are more aware now then they were before.
Some things should be given a pass as long as it doesn’t create harmful, dangerous, or aim to do damage to a certain community.
These movies, shows and books should remain available, but feature some type of warning beforehand, like what Disney is doing with Dumbo and Lady and the Tramp, which portray certain racial groups in a stereotypical way.
Let things be how they are, learn from it, and strive for a better content.
What is your opinion on cancel culture? Leave a comment below.
Written by A FABU Contributor
As Demi Lovato said, “What’s wrong with being confident?”
Confidence makes you feel good about yourself, your talents, and your abilities. It allows you to walk into a room knowing what your uniqueness brings to the table.
Self-confidence gives you the power to feel comfortable with who you are as a person, and having confidence in other people will give that assurance to someone else.
With that said, there is such a thing as having too much confidence, to the point where it becomes toxic. This is the point where confidence turns into cockiness.
Confidence and arrogance can be confused, especially when it comes to people who work in high positions.
When a woman is bossy, they can sometimes be labelled a “bitch”.
When a man is bossy, they can sometimes be labelled a “douchebag”.
Someone should not be labelled in this way just because they expect a high level of work, but there is a point where over confidence can turn into demeaning behavior towards others.
To break it down, people who are confident in themselves have a clear understanding of what they want out of themselves and other people. Whereas, someone who's arrogant might boss around others in order to satisfy their ego.
Take a second to think about the people in your own life. You can probably think of someone who comes to mind who is confident. Now, compare them to someone who you deem as arrogant. You can probably identify the difference just by the shift in the energy they give off and how they talk about themselves.
Usually, someone who’s cocky tends to have an inflated sense of confidence and a heightened view of themselves and what they've achieved, creating a sense that they are better than everybody else. This, in turn makes the people around them feeling annoyed and undervalued.
Confident people know what they want and still expect a certain level of hard work out of others, but they will lift up those around them in order for everyone to achieve and succeed.
Arrogant people usually tend to brag about their achievements and might even belittle those around them by talking down to them in a condescending way.
They might even make everything about them, instead of getting input from others or taking other people into consideration.
It’s like how the old saying goes “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” When someone is arrogant, it can be difficult to work with them. And if you try to confront them on their behavior and how it impacts morale, there may be some push back as it is hard for them to understand what they're doing wrong, and will shrug it off.
But, when you lift people up and work together, it reflects well not only on the team you are working with, but it reflects well on yourself, so you can confidently present your best work.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
WIt causes you to feel a certain way. Whether it be to celebrate a new job or to help you pick yourself up after a bad breakup.
When you hear a song for the first time, it can give you that adrenaline rush, the motivation to be the best, or it could make you relive that one painful time in your life.
Have you ever heard that one song that can evoke the same memory every single time?
Music is a sensory gift that allows listeners to be taken back to a moment so minuscule, that they forgot it was even a memory in the first place. Songs trigger memories and those memories are often complete.
They include not only the song and the performer but also how we felt the first time we heard it, where we were when we heard it and the events that were happening in our live to shape that song into what it has become in our minds.
Music can be used as background noise to lighten an awkward conversation, to helping patients with dementia bring back momentary colour to a darkened mind but the most critical part about music is that it can bring an element of calmness to our bodies and allow us to travel back to a moment long passed.
Music isn’t simply a mixture of beats, tones, keys and beautiful lyrics. It’s a gateway for individuals to escape.
According to a few Canada wide studies, listening to music can help reactivate areas of the brain that are associated with memory, reasoning, speech and some motor functions. It can also reduce anxiety, blood pressure, pain and help with sleep patterns.
Music enriches our souls daily and can make us relive that one joyous time we wish we could get back. Whether it's at a big concert, in the car or in the shower, music has the eliminate to bring us all together, no matter the situation.
Today, tomorrow and every other day, it's something we should be thankful for. After all, it is the little things that are able to bring serenity to us.
What music brings back compelling memories for you? Comment below
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Do you consider yourself to be an empathetic person?
Someone who's empathetic is a person who is highly aware of the emotions of the people around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves.
Empathetic people are fully present and have an understanding of what someone is going through. They celebrate your accomplishments and feel sad during the heartbreaks. They can take your side when you have problems or hardships. They also can give advice by putting themselves in your shoes to give perspective on your situation.
They pretty much absorb emotions like a sponge, and their mood can change based on the energy of a crowd.
Absorbing other people's emotions by being an empath can be positive, but unfortunately, this can also be emotionally draining.
If you are an empath, not only are you feeling your own emotions, but other people's emotions are also amplifying your feelings as well. This can be exhausting at times, especially when it comes to negative energy.
Even if you don’t consider yourself to be an empath, someone’s negative mood can still affect how you feel. You can't change how you are, but there are ways to channel those amplified emotions, so you don’t feel overwhelmed. This way, you can continue living your life without someone’s bad day always bringing you down.
Remember not to overwhelm yourself
This is a matter of self-awareness and logical thinking. Remember to separate yourself and the different emotions you are picking up on.
Remember to refocus on yourself and detach.
It's good to be sensitive to other people, but remember that your wellness should come first. Try a moment of meditation or give yourself a pep talk to think logically about a situation to detach yourself from the effect of someone else’s emotions. You can also try going for a walk or taking up a hobby you enjoy in order to clear your head and ground yourself.
When it comes to empathy, the best you can do is listen and give a helping hand when needed, but don't forget to refocus and reconnect with yourself. Remember to set personal boundaries in order to detach yourself from absorbing unwanted energy.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
Let’s talk about body hair. We’ve all got it, in fact, if you really think about it, the only part of your body that doesn’t have body hair is your palms, soles of your feet, back of your ears and lips. Take a second to think about that. With about 97 percent of your body being covered in hair, it’s bizarre to think there’s the perception that body hair is unacceptable and gross.
While body hair is more acceptable on a male, for females having body hair is looked down upon. Let’s start with a little bit of history, the norm to remove body hair wasn’t really a thing until the mid 1940s and to be specific, it moved from a fad to becoming more of a normal routine for women within just of few months of the 1940s. By 1964, a survey showed that around 98 percent of American women shaved their legs routinely. From then on, the surface area of objectionable hair grew in line with whatever fashionable, desirable and sexy trends were important during that time.
Now that we are caught up on the basic history of body hair, let’s talk about it in today’s society.
As a woman myself, I have seen so many stories, articles and comments about if a woman having body hair is ok or not. I guess this won’t be very different from those articles but does body hair on a female really matter that much?
As a European woman, I used to treat my body horribly because of the norms and standards you must obtain to be considered desirable.
Growing up, having any type of body hair including arm, leg and facial hair was definitely not a trend. I used to cover my arms and legs up during the summer, take small scissors to my face to cut off any unwanted hairs and even going as far as to taking tape to my face and trying to rip off any tip of facial hair. After constantly torturing myself for years and years trying to fit into what was normal and acceptable in society, I came to one realization, nobody really cared about my body hair, it was me that cared about my body hair. I had the idea that if I had any type of hair on my body, I wasn’t beautiful like the rest of the girls my age.
Oh, was I ever wrong. The most beautiful thing about this whole journey was that I was able to be ok and love my body hair, regardless of what society told me I should look like. Making that change, I have been able to love and accept myself more, while also embracing what my ethnicity is and being proud of it.
Now, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with getting rid of your body hair, I know there are women who choose to remove their body hair because it’s what they are comfortable with - that’s their personal choice. But there are other women who feel the need to remove their hair due to society and to be desirable to other people.
Do you think we need to start normalizing female body hair? Comment below.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
For singer and songwriter Robbie Agnew, music makes him feel many emotions. From happy, sad, and anxious to pumped up, Agnew describes his music as passionate yet stripped down. A clear focus is put on pure vocal melodies and meaningful lyrics.
Agnew first knew he wanted to pursue music as a career at 12 years of age. “The first time I knew I wanted to sing for a living was during my Grade 7 audition for the school play,” he shares. “I sang Sweet Child O’ Mine and blew everyone away with my raw talent and impressive vocal range. Ever since that moment, I was known as the singer in school.”
Robbie credits some musicians for inspiring him to be better and think bigger. Those artists include Elina Stridh, Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler, Coheed and Cambria and Guns N’ Roses. Agnew’s musical journey started quickly. “My musical journey started fast at the local Raise Your Voice singing contest,” he says. “I became number two out of over 100 participants, recording my first two songs in the recording studio and creating two music videos.
Sadly, soon after Covid slowed down my progress, but Fanshawe’s music school program has been a great learning experience for me.” Robbie has also obtained a diploma in Travel and Tourism and a Walt Disney World University Certificate for working and learning from the Walt Disney Company.
Agnew is currently enrolled in his first year of Music Industry Arts at Fanshawe College. When asked what empowers him in his music and life, Agnew shared… “My family and friends are great to talk to and so incredibly supportive, but my personal drive and passions in life are enough to keep me going,” he explains. “If you can live alone with yourself for days on end without feeling lonely or bored, you are in a good place in life.” To hear some of Robbie Agnew’s music, check out his Facebook Page and Instagram Account at Robbie Agnew Music.
Written by a F.A.B.U. contributor
We all heard of the saying that money can't buy happiness.
You can buy material things that make you happy, but that feeling tends to go away over time.
Money can buy you experiences, like seeing your favourite artist in concert. Or maybe some crazy experience like skydiving out of a plane or white water rafting down the Ottawa River. It can get you that relaxing vacation in another country to experience things you don't usually see or do in your day-to-day life.
But, when it all comes down to it, you cannot buy the simple things in life like genuine human connection. You also can't buy the feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. And it certainly cannot buy time.
When it comes to people and money, things can get complicated. Some people steal for it. It can tear families apart. Some people gamble it away, hoping to make more. We try to find ways to get rich quickly, while some work as much as possible to make more.
We work so hard to earn money, but it gets spent even quicker.
Money can't buy true happiness, but it can reduce stress, which will, in turn, make you a happier person.
When it comes down to it, finances take up a lot of space in our lives. According to FP Canada, money was the number one cause of stress for Canadians for five years in a row. This was especially true in 2020, when a lot of people lost their jobs during the global pandemic.
When it comes to financial worries, it's a lot more than continually thinking about it. It can also impact your sleep as many people lie awake at night worrying about it, and it can even affect your relationships with other people.
People need financial stability to feel at ease. People who have economic stability often live a stress-free life because it is one less thing they do not need to worry about. For others, it's not that easy.
Even if you have financial instability, one way to help reduce that stress is to have a financial plan. It won't solve all financial problems, but it lets you take control and predict where things are going.
The feeling of controlling your money instead of money controlling you will help in reducing this stress.
We all want financial stability. That's why we buy lottery tickets, so we can win the jackpot and never have to worry about money again.
But if we control our money instead of letting money control us, we can reign in on what matters. And if you have extra money lying around, you can treat yourself now and then.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
Being a woman is HARD. Not only do we deal with skyrocketing emotions, around 450 periods in our lifetime, bearing children, but we’re also conditioned from an early age that we have to fit in with society’s beauty standards, all along with having to portray ourselves as one of those really “chill chicks” like the ones you see in the movie’s that don’t give a fuck about what anyone says. Problem is, many women become competitive with one another and I’m not talking about competing in sports, I’m talking about competing over everything. Who has the best makeup? Best outfits? Cutest relationship? Best career?
Listen, we all struggle with jealously from time to time and trust me I get it, but the hard bit is being able to look at it with a cool, rational head so that you can wiggle out of its grasp before it starts to suffocate you and eat you alive. It sounds dramatic but you would be surprised by how much jealously and being envious over someone can really damage your mental health and overall well-being.
Of course, we can be jealous about a numerous amount of things but for the purpose of this article, I’m going to focus on the most potentially damaging kind, which is being jealous of other women. As a woman, jealously is deep rooted within me, but after analyzing why I’m jealous of other women, I came to the core realization that it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me, so buckle up and get ready for the ride, you might learn a thing or two.
1)Recognize what is driving your jealously
It seems like such a simple thing to do but you would be surprised by how many women would rather not analyze and figure out why they feel a type of way towards other women. Chances are there are some parts of yourself that you don’t like and your jealously towards other women is your way of projecting your own insecurities onto them. If you’re anything like me, sometimes you can lose yourself in the Instagram rabbit hole and become annoyingly obsessed with following those flawless, perfect girls who seem to have it all together. This is one of the most poisonous things I did to myself, and nothing against those women, cause it fully highlighted in me what I needed to work on, which was practicing self-love and improving my self-esteem so I could come to realization that not everything online is what is seems.
2)Think about all the things you do have
Being negative is so flippen easy. I mean, studies show that it takes six muscles to frown and a whopping 12 muscles to smile. It’s a lot of work but if you keep reminding yourself every day that there is something or someone out there that you are grateful for, I guarantee it will help you look at life a little bit easier. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in all the negative and continuing to project your fears into the future but we tend to forget that the best way to live is to think in the present moment and in the present moment, most things are ok.
These are some of the things that I find beneficial when it comes to realizing that those girls who looked like they have it going on, are most likely struggling with the same thing I struggle with. Learning how to be kind to one another is the best way to live a happier and healthier life, filled with many adventures and tons of laughs.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
In social media's dazzling world, today's youth usually live their lives through an online audience. With younger people, getting 'likes' on photos, posts, or comments in the virtual world can bring a powerful sense of accomplishment and community acceptance.
Visual platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat deliver the tools that allow teens to feel a need for a certain approval for their appearance. According to a recent study done by Time Magazine, the ones who spent most of their time posting and commenting content on their social media accounts are the individuals that are driven to more acceptance from their peers.
Many studies have shown that a collection of people believe their self-worth is through their appearance and not from tangible things like brain and personality. With the digital age being at its highest, the Internet has become a great democratizer.
If wanted, anyone can alter themselves to look like someone else. Individuals can cover up pimples using a simple airbrushing tool, whiten teeth, shape their faces, and completely change their appearance with the swipe of a finger. Curating their image to become something hotter, thinner, and prettier in their eyes. This mindset applies an illustration of control, a thought thinking, "If I do this, I will feel beautiful and be more socially accepted." At the end of the day, though, a 'like' or being 'ranked' and feeling insecure becomes a blurred thought in mind.
Social media has become a negative social outlet for young teens. According to Eating Disorder Hope, some social media can influence eating disorders with the overwhelming amount of social media aspects on how you should look.
On average, in Canada, it is said that three percent of women are affected by an eating disorder once in their lifetime.
To learn more about how you can help someone struggling with an eating disorder, check out local non-profit BANA (Bulimia, Anorexia, Nervosa Association).
Since 1983, BANA has been committed to providing the Windsor-Essex area with specialized treatment, education and support services for individuals affected directly and indirectly by eating disorders.
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Some people find it hard to be single. You might know someone who jumps into another relationship right after their last one ended.
Meanwhile, others find it hard to jump back into the dating pool after being single for a long time. When you are single for a long time, you develop many self-sufficiency skills and get used to your independence. You learn to appreciate your own company and learn to become more reliant on yourself instead of relying on your partner.
As more time passes, you find yourself developing new routines of how you work by yourself and sometimes, it’s hard to find the motivation to put yourself out there.
In some ways, being single might feel better. Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, even mentions that being single can scientifically improve your life compared to those who aren’t.
There’s also that sense of comfort. You become comfortable with your sense of solitude and the freedoms that come along with it. You’re comfortable with your work, your relationship with friends and family and with how you relax after a long day. With that comfort, you might find it hard to start dating because you’re unsure of how to squeeze another person into your life or worry about how they will fit with your routine.
When you’ve been single for a long time, you get a better sense of self, along with maturity and self-reliance. In the long run, this will help you build a mature relationship.
When it comes to finding the right partner, this sense of self will ultimately lead to healthy boundaries in your relationship. It will help you understand how you are as an individual and how you work as a partner.
So, take the time you need to be single. When you are ready to jump into the dating game, figuring out who you are will help give you a clear understanding of who you are looking for in a partner.
And if you want to stay single, that works just as well.
Written by Julianna Bonnett
It's officially February, and there's no running from it; Valentine's Day is right around the corner.
For some people, Valentine's Day is a fun day to celebrate and spread love to your friends, family and significant other, but for some, Valentine's Day is just another day.
Contrary to what romantic comedies, shows, and advertisements tell us, Valentine's Day isn't all that great. It is probably the most useless holiday that we celebrate in today's society. Thinking about Valentine's Day as a young girl, it brought me excitement, knowing that I would come to school and get a bunch of cards on my desk mixed with some chocolates and maybe an anonymous note from a potential crush. But when you get older, high expectations surround this "sweet" holiday, from getting the perfect gifts to fancy dinners to impressing your significant other in many materialist ways.
Think about it, as pictures of happy couples start to flood your social media feeds, it can be easy to question your own relationship with your significant other. You might begin to wonder how your relationship can compare to these seemingly picture-perfect ones. Or if you are single, seeing this can make you feel worthless and like you will never be worthy of falling in love. This mentality can be destructive and/or misleading.
On top of that, Valentine's Day can be a huge waste of time and money. Some people go to great lengths and spend tons of money on presents for their significant others. According to loanscanada.ca, each year, Canadians spend $37 million on average on the 14th of February. If you have a significant other, remember there is a lot you can do without breaking the bank and can still provide someone with a somewhat unconventional Valentine's Day experience.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, buying presents and spoiling someone can happen on any day spontaneously; it doesn't have to be on Valentine's Day that you do something special.
It shouldn't be the only day reserved for love and spoiling each other; doing that can take away from daily practices of love and appreciation.
I guess what I'm trying to say for this Valentine's Day is, single or not, focus on doing what makes you happy without potentially putting yourself in the negatives just to make someone or yourself happy.
Happiness and love shouldn't be surrounded and focused on spending the most on someone; it should be about what your values are, your purpose and what brings you happiness. When you're in love, you'll know. You won't feel the need to spend so much money and post about it daily to show your followers how you feel.
Written by a F.A.B.U. contributor
What is FOMO? FOMO refers to the Fear of Missing Out.
What is becoming a real phenomenon that has become increasingly common and can cause significant stress in your life, the fear of missing out is feeling anxious or worried about missing out on something, usually a social event or a gathering (like a party). This feeling can stem from the fear of missing something important, or missing something fun when you're not there.
FOMO can also refer to the anxiety of missing out on something because you weren't invited. Either way, it's that lonesome feeling of not being included.
So when did FOMO start?
The fear that you may be missing out isn't anything new, however, the term was coined in 1996 after a research paper by marketing strategist, Dr. Dan Herman was done to identify what FOMO really meant.
When it comes to the feeling of missing out, it doesn't help when everyone on your friend list is frequently posting about events that you're not a part of. In this era of social media, where people are always posting about vacations, concerts, parties, etc., it's easy to feel left out or envious of other people's experiences.
FOMO has been linked to creating negative thinking, and could lower our self-esteem by comparing our lives to those we see on our social media feeds.
If you think you're experiencing FOMO, you should consider the following:
If I was invited, should I have gone?
Sometimes, you might have been invited to attend something, but you decided to say "no." Remind yourself why you made that decision. At the time, saying "no" was the right decision. Maybe you just wanted to take some time for yourself. Perhaps you weren't in the mood. Either way, don't feel ashamed for saying no. Sure, there might be some scandalous thing that may happen that people might talk about later, but you made your decision for a reason.
Create your fun and create your own experiences. A lot of the time, the reason why people post about attending events or vacations is to brag.
Just remember that everyone's good times look different. It might not be a giant party or attending a music festival. It could just be a low-key hang out with a few close friends.
In general, don't fear missing out on something. Focus on your life and what matters to you.
If you decide not to attend something you've been invited to, remember that sometimes missing out can be just as good.
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Let me start this off by saying that I believe that men and women should be equal. Nobody should have an issue having a female boss, a female doctor, female lawyers, etc.
Do I think women should get paid the same as men for doing the same job? Absolutely.
But, we need to talk about toxic feminism. Yes, this is a thing. You’re probably familiar with the term toxic masculinity. It’s one of those terms that keep coming up on social media.
Well, guess what? Toxic feminism is a thing, too. And I’m going to talk about it right here.
Toxic feminism doesn’t apply to all feminists. It’s just a group of radical feminists that believe that raising women involves lowering men.
This is shown a lot online where a man will make one small critique. Then, female commenters will come in with an aggressive rant by demonizing all men and blaming them for the world’s problems - and sometimes, for their personal problems as well.
Feminism is meant to empower and make changes where they are due to make things better, not used as a weapon against men or thinking that it’s time for women to have all the power.
Not to mention the double standard happening here. Women don’t like when men make general assumptions about them. But, it’s “ok” for these radical feminists to generalize all men as aggressive oppressors?
While it is true that men have gotten away with a lot in the past, and toxic masculinity is still an ongoing problem. Still, it doesn’t mean that women have the right to act and behave the same way. Both women and men should be held accountable.
For example, in an era where the #MeToo movement is cracking down on men like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein, who are finally getting justice for their predatory behaviour, there’s barely any conversation going on about women who assault men.
Remember when Cardi B admitted to drugging men and robbing them when they went back up to her hotel room?
Nothing came of it. She didn’t get cancelled. She got a little bit of criticism online, but overall, people just laughed it off because, you know, “classic Cardi” and didn’t get any repercussions. She even starred in the movie Hustlers, which pretty much featured this same scenario. It was never brought up again.
We can’t have equality if that’s the attitude that people have. If it’s wrong for a man to do something, it’s also wrong for a woman to do the same thing. All because men have gotten away with it doesn’t mean women should get a pass.
I’ll finish off with this final thought. We need to keep fighting for human rights, but we can't be hypocrite about it. Men and women can help each other succeed with respect and understanding.
So, what really is a feminist?
Written by Julianna Bonnett
With so many different interpretations of feminism, it can be difficult to understand what it means to be a feminist. To some, this term resembles images of political, social, and economic equality for men and women. To others, this term resembles man-hating women who are planning to steal all power from men.
While most women would argue that feminism begins and ends with the textbook definition of it, which is the belief for political and economic rights for both men and women, modern feminists argue that the movement has changed from what it was initially meant to be used for.
A common critique that we hear about the F word is that “we’ve gone too far.” Some people say feminism has created a gender ideology but are we all just looking at it wrong? Has the media brainwashed us into believing it’s something that it is not?
So, what is the history behind feminism?
The first wave of feminism happened in the late 19th century and early 20th centuries. First-wave feminists were known as suffragettes; they campaigned for women’s right to vote and women’s right to work.
The second wave of feminism came in the 1960s and 1970s. Their focus was on fighting for equal pay and the right to live free from physical and sexual violence and reproductive rights.
The third wave of feminism started during the 1990s and has continued today. This is a more inclusive form of feminism that considers race, ethnicity, and sexual identity. It recognizes that every woman’s experiences are different but continues to fight for the same rights and principles as the second wave.
But if I had a nickel for every time, I hear someone say, “I’m not a feminist,” I would be rich. As a proud feminist, I can say this; I don’t hate men, I don’t want to take their power away from them, I don’t want anything like that. The simple textbook definition of this issue is that all we want is equality, and I don’t think that is much to ask for. That being said, I understand why some don’t want to identify themselves as a feminist. Sadly, the feminist movement has had a history of excluding women of colour and marginalizing their struggles. Still, the mainstream feminist movement has done a lot to include many females of different colour, race, religion, and sexuality.
The bottom line is, everyone has a right to identify as they please, and everyone deserves equality. If you believe that, maybe you are a feminist after all.
Check out the 2nd part of this story next week when we look at feminism told from the point of view from our male guest writer.
Written by a F.A.B.U. contributor
Failure is a part of life, and what you learn from those mistakes is how to become successful in the future.
You might have failed a test in school or made an embarrassing mistake at work. You may feel discouraged. You might even tell yourself that you can't do anything right and that you should give up and quit.
Fortunately, you can use those feelings of defeat and discouragement to fuel you to make changes and ensure it doesn't happen again. This determination can propel you to succeed later to prove to everyone - and yourself - that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to, no matter how many times you fail.
Here are some tips on how to turn the feeling of failure into fuel:
When you make a mistake, don't shut down and focus on it for too long. It's natural to feel defeated. You are human after all, but don't fret too much about it. Instead, use that feeling to work harder and push yourself forward.
With that said...
Push yourself and keep going. Prove to yourself that you can do it. Don't get stuck too much in your head. Sometimes, we think a problem is a bigger deal than it actually is.
Recognize the problem and what steps you can take to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Ask yourself: Were you responsible for the outcome? Maybe you didn't put as much effort in as you should have?
Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it or try to find a different route to solve the problem. Whatever the case is, reflect on what happened and learn from it.
When it comes to making mistakes, sometimes you don't get a second chance. As a result, you might not be able to retake the test, or you may even get fired for your error on the job. But, the experience will leave an impact.
Remember to learn what you've done wrong, and moving forward, you'll know to do something different to prevent it. Use the feeling of failure to motivate you to push forward and try harder for next time.
Success doesn't happen unless you fail a million times. That is when true success comes into play.
Written by a F.A.B.U Contributor
Even though we're still in the middle of a pandemic and will be for the next little while, it's time to start putting 2020 behind us and to start looking ahead at a brand new year with a fresh start.
At the beginning of a new year, many people set New Year's Resolutions for themselves. It's a tale as old as time. People set up big things for themselves, but by the end of January, they've already broken them.
You might know people (or yourself) that promise to start living a healthier life by starting a workout routine or cutting sugar out of their diet, but give up a few weeks into it.
You see, the key to creating your goals for the year and keeping your "New Year's Resolutions" is to make them realistic and I can't stress that enough. A majority of the time, people put unrealistic expectations in place when creating their resolutions.
When you start creating goals for the new year, make sure it's something you can quickly achieve and work towards.
Remember, it's the small victories that matter, after all.
For example, if you want to be more active, start small.
Instead of dedicating yourself to an hour-long workout routine, why not start with finding 15 to 30 minutes a day? Start small so this way, you can push yourself to do more extended amounts of exercise when you're ready. It also doesn't have to be strenuous physical activity. Your goal could be to walk more.
Find something you like doing and keep pushing yourself little by little.
Not only should your goals be realistic, but they should also be achievable.
Set realistic timelines for yourself.
Think about what you hope to achieve by the end of each month or by the end of the year as a whole.
For example, if you're starting a new hobby, don't expect yourself to be a professional in a week. Make sure you give yourself some time, and again, be realistic.
Examples might look like this:
I want to be able to cook two new meals by February.
I want to learn at least three songs on the piano by the end of July.
I want to lose 10 pounds and keep it off by the end of 2021.
Another great way to keep a resolution is to continue doing something you're already doing.
For example, if you haven't tried smoking, your resolution could be not to start smoking. If you already go to the gym every day, your resolution can be to continue your workout routine. It's as simple as that.
Try to have fun with your New Year Resolutions.
Make a list of a couple of books you want to read by the end of 2021.
If you're not a reader, your resolution may be to read at least ONE book by the end of the year.
Make a list of movies or TV shows you've been putting off that you need to watch before the year is done.
When you complete goals, you give yourself a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Don't give yourself resolutions that are too difficult or not specific enough. Like I mentioned already, it's the small victories that matter. Don't make them too big or daunting.
When making your New Year’s Resolutions, make them realistic and as easy as possible; that way, you can succeed at achieving them.
Happy New Year from all of us at FABU!
High emotions, solidarity and a whole lot of self-reflection is how many would describe this year in a nutshell. Let’s be honest, this year has been tragic for many, but it has also opened our eyes to a lot of things about the world, our community and ourselves.
From witnessing the injustice that the black community has gone through for decades, the shift a global pandemic has made, a whole lot of devastating deaths and ongoing tragedies, this year felt like it would never come to an end. Every time you checked your phone or turned on the tv, all it was filled with was ongoing negative and disheartening news.
We saw heroic actions take place from health care workers, retail workers, strangers, neighbours, colleagues, family members, friends, social workers, students, teachers, business owners and so many more.
There is a lot that 2020 has taught us about our relationships, our values, our courage, and our passions. As we made our 2019 New Year’s resolutions, we had nothing but hope and faith jumping into the new year, knowing we would be faced with challenges along the way. But 2020, however, had different plans. If we could take away everything that happened this year, we would but we can’t so let’s look at the silver lining. From tough times comes tough lessons, personal growth, and many learning opportunities.
Here we are reflecting on what this crazy year has taught us.
2. Finding happiness in the simple things
You need darkness for there to be light, so when everything was closing and shutting down, we had to shift our focus onto something else besides our everyday lives. Small things like, the way the sun shines through your bedroom window, the way the fresh coffee grounds smell in the morning or even just delighting yourself in a zoom call with a family member, these small things showed us that we don’t need anything big to make us happy, it’s all within.
3. Actions matter more than words
Dreaming is different than doing, thinking something is different than showing up and being there for someone during their tough times. As the world keeps shifting and changing daily, we saw people that have never met, come together to fight for the same equality and justice. People from every corner of the world came together to fight for the same thing, whether that was through wearing a mask and keeping your distance or fighting for the injustice of the black community, the world supported one another.
4.Different times reveal the truth
It’s funny how 2020 opened our eyes to a lot of new things in our lives. Did any of your friendships or relationships fizzle out during this year or surprisingly reignite and grow stronger than ever during this year?
5 Follow Your Passions
Do the things that light a fire in your heart. This year showed us just how much time we can have. Being stuck inside for days to weeks helped reignite that creativity we use to experience as a young child. Our imagination went wild when it came to the things, we realized that we really wanted to do with our lives.
This year showed us we need to give ourselves time to breathe in and breathe out. A time to focus on our physical health but more importantly our mental health. It showed us that even if we are working daily and interacting with others, there could be some internal issues that need to be focused on. With being in lockdown, it gave us tons of time for self-reflection and growth.
You got one life baby! So why not live in the way you want to? The year 2020 showed us that this is your life, and it can be lived whichever way you envision it. It helps us to stop being afraid of owning your authentic self and to start living and embodying who we truly are.
8.Never Stop Learning
Heck, when you get bored, what’s the best thing to do to fill your time? Learn!
We all tend to say, well if I had time, I would love to learn how to do that. Well, this year has given you the opportunity to take up something new, whether that be baking, karate, singing or learning more about yourself, this year has been helpful with that!
I know I’ve done it; I usually don’t acknowledge all the things I do have in my life. This year showed me how amazing life can be when you start realizing all the things you have. And I’m not taking about a Nintendo switch or the newest X-Box game, I’m taking about the small things. Clean water, a roof over your head and food in your belly. These are small things that help me realized how good my life is.
What 2020 has taught us might be different from what it taught you, but this year has still been a year of self-growth and eye-opening things that happened in the world that put things in a new perspective for us. What has 2020 taught you? Leave us an answer in the comments below!
The holidays are a time for celebration and to get together with family. We share a meal, catch up with each other, and enjoy the company.
Although, sometimes, the holidays can come with a lot of stress. Whether you're the one preparing the feast, interacting with difficult family members and being overwhelmed by a room full of people, the holidays can be a little stressful.
Since Windsor just recently went in lockdown, we know some of you are stuck with what to do with your holidays but whether you are having family gathering, or you're spending it in lockdown, here are some tips to help the day go as smooth and painless as possible.
Here are some tips if you’re having a family gathering this year:
If you're the one preparing the big feast, try to prepare as many meals ahead of time.
Cooking a turkey is time-consuming.
A lot of people tend to cook the turkey and other oversized items the day of.
They spend the majority of the day in the kitchen and not enough time enjoying company.
If you're one of these people, try to prepare as much food as you can a day or two before and put in the oven or zap it in the microwave when it's almost time to eat.
Don't be afraid to cook and carve that turkey a day ahead and heat it the next day in the oven. It will still turn out delicious and you can enjoy your company.
Don't be afraid to accept help from others.
If your mother-in-law pops her head in the kitchen and offers to help you, it's very easy to shoo her off and say, "I've got this."
But giving them tasks like preparing the salad or setting the table can help meal prep go smoother.
Don't be afraid to step out. This goes for anyone. If you feel overwhelmed by the number of people in the room, whether you're celebrating at your house or someone else's, it's very easy to feel a little claustrophobic.
Don't be afraid to “hideaway” for a moment to collect yourself.
Find a place where you can get some space. Sit in an empty bedroom or bathroom or stand on the front porch to get some air, for example.
This can give you a space to get away from the hustle and bustle inside the house.
Remember that everyone will leave.
Some family members are difficult to deal with. No matter what, they will always feel the need to put their 2 cents into everything. They'll judge how your house looks, the way you prepared the food, and what you should and shouldn’t be doing.
The same goes for family members who make comments or argue about opposing political views or lifestyle choices.
It's up to you whether to speak up if they cross a line. You might also decide to just let it slide depending on the comment, since you only see these people once or twice a year.
Remember that they will leave eventually and if you need to, remember to take a step back by finding a space to collect yourself.
Try to keep sensitive topics under control and off the table.
Due to lockdown restrictions, some of you might not be able to see family members during this time, so here are some tips on how to stay connected during a holiday in lockdown.
Call family members and friends
Take some time during the holidays to give warm wishes to family and friends by giving them a call, or a video chat to get some face time. This way, you can still see loved ones over the holidays while social distancing.
Socially Distant Visits or Gift Drop Off
Take a drive to see that family member or friend, but remember to keep your distance. Have them stay on their front porch while you greet them by keeping your distance a few feet away.
Or you can drop off their gift with a special note or card on their porch and greet them while they pick it up.
Just remember to keep it brief and wear a mask!
Christmas in the Spring
It might sound a little weird, but some people are opting to celebrate Christmas much later, once restrictions are lifted and once it’s nicer so people can gather outdoors. This may not be ideal when it comes to exchanging gifts since you only have 30 days to return items, but celebrations can happen anytime of the year. And in a weird year like 2020, why not celebrate Christmas after December 25th?
The holidays are a time to laugh and spend time with family. Whether you’re gathering together, or spending it in lockdown, the tips above should help with whatever situation you’re in.
From all of us at FABU, Happy Holidays!
YOU WILL NEED:
-Ghirardelli Semi-Sweet Chocolate Baking Bar
TO MAKE THE BROWNIES
4 ounces Ghirardelli Semi-Sweet Chocolate Baking Bar
1/2 cup (1 stick)Butter, unsalted, cut into pieces
1 cup Brown sugar, dark or light, packed
1 teaspoon Vanilla extract
3/4 cup + 2 tablespoons All-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoonBaking powder
1/2 cup Ghirardelli Semi-Sweet Chocolate Baking Chips
ONCE BROWNIES ARE COOKED:
-Cut them into triangles
-Then add your green icing in the format of a Christmas tree
-Add your sprinkles
-Add your Candy Canes (CUT IN HALF)
Santa doesn’t need Rudolph’s nose to find Leamington this Christmas.
For over a year or so, light pollution has been under investigation in the Kingsville/Leamington area. It has been the center of many complaints among its residents.
What is often dubbed as the “Leamington Glow”, this occurrence is essentially an orange, yellow or sometimes purple light that illuminates the sky at night due to the heating lamps in greenhouses to stimulate growth during colder months.
The greenhouse industry in the area is growing, and so is the amount of attention. The glow has even caught the attention of residents across the border.
Channel 4, the local NBC affiliate in Detroit, made a whole news segment about the glow, coining the term “Southern Lights” when discussing them during a segment that aired on November 25.
After a few years of resident complaints, enough was enough.
According to the Windsor Star, Leamington proposed a bylaw that would require greenhouse owners to install blackout curtains on the walls of their greenhouses by April 2021 and ceilings by October 2021. It also must be closed from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. to block all light from shining on neighbouring properties or into the sky at night.
Christmas came early for Leamington because by Tuesday, December 8, Leamington Council passed the bylaw for greenhouses to eliminate 90 percent of the light coming from their facilities between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.
If a greenhouse doesn’t have the proper curtains in place, it will not be allowed to operate the lights and subject to a $1000 fine each day.
It looks like the people of Leamington will finally be getting their wish this year. By 2021, the Leamington glow will finally extinguish, and the sky will be dark once again.
Tell us in the comments if you can see the lights from where you are, and let us know what you think of the lights and if you’re looking forward to dark skies again in Leamington.